This checklist is designed to protect you without keeping you from meeting people. It works in stages: before creating your profile, during your conversations, before meeting in person, and after. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. If you feel uncomfortable, that alone is enough information.
How to use this checklist
This checklist is divided into several phases: creating your profile, chatting online, preparing for the first date, the date itself, and what comes after. Each section contains actions organized into three levels: essential (must do), recommended (strongly advised), and bonus (to go further).
You don’t have to apply everything at once. Go at your own pace and choose what fits your situation.
The 3 principles that protect you most
Three simple principles to remember:
- Protect your identity: don’t share information that could be used to locate or precisely identify you.
- Stay in control of the pace: you decide how fast the conversation moves and when to meet.
- Plan an exit: always have a way to leave if you need to.
The most common fears… and what this checklist covers
Harassment, sexual pressure, photo blackmail, stalking, a pushy man, identity lies, a date that goes wrong: this checklist anticipates these situations without being alarmist. You’ll find concrete actions for each scenario.
In the United States, an average of more than 430,000 people age 12 or older are victims of rape or sexual assault each year (source). 90% of adult rape victims are women (source).
Emergency Resources
Websites that can help
- FightCybercrime.org : for guidance and to be directed to the right services
- IC3 (FBI) : to file an online complaint for internet scams and fraud
- FBI Tips : to report illegal online content or behavior
- ReportFraud.ftc.gov : to report credit card fraud and scams to the FTC (after contacting your bank)
- StaySafeOnline : for cybersecurity guidance and prevention
Numbers to know
- 7726 (SPAM) : forward unwanted spam texts to this number
- 800-799-7233 - National Domestic Violence Hotline : for information and advice, 24/7 (or text START to 88788)
- 844-878-2274 - CCRI Image Abuse Helpline : for help with revenge porn, sextortion, deepfakes and image-based abuse, 24/7
In immediate danger: call 911.
Creating your profile without overexposing yourself
Check these settings as soon as you create your profile:
- Location: turn off precise location. If the app requires it, choose a wide radius (several miles).
- Visibility: on some apps, you can choose who sees your profile. Go for the options that limit access.
- Lock-screen notifications: turn them off so messages don't show up publicly.
- Block and report: find where these features are before you need them.
Details that reveal where you live:
- The front of your building, your mailbox
- The view from your window
- Your work uniform or company logo
- Street signs, storefront names
- Schools, daycare centers, places you visit regularly
You can say "I love running" without giving the park, the time, and the day. Be specific about your tastes (music, travel, hobbies), but vague about your whereabouts (exact neighborhood, workplace, habits). Example: "I love running outdoors" instead of "I run every morning at 7 a.m. in Riverside Park."
If you're a mom, you can mention it ("I'm a mom") without giving details about your kids' school, schedules, or routines. Save that information for later, once trust has been established. Being honest should never mean putting yourself at risk. You don't have to share everything from the start.
During your conversations
The conversation stage is when you spot the warning signs: pushiness, guilt-tripping, quick sexualization. Here’s how to respond.
Never share early on:
- Your full name
- Your home address
- Your exact workplace
- Your routines (gym, daily commute)
- Information about your children (school, schedules)
- Your social media handles
Check whether the information the person gives you adds up:
- Does their info change from one message to the next?
- Do they refuse to answer simple questions?
- Are there contradictions in what they say?
- Does their story sound "too perfect," too rehearsed?
- Is the pace off (too intense, too fast)?
Pressure is a red flag. If the person pushes to speed things up (exchanging phone numbers, meeting quickly, moving to WhatsApp), that's a warning sign.
"I'd rather take my time." "If you keep pushing, I'm ending this conversation." You have every right to set this pace. Someone respectful will understand.
If you receive unsolicited sexual messages, act in three steps:
- Reframe: "I'm not comfortable with this tone."
- Warn: "I'm asking you to stop."
- Cut off: block and report.
If you receive harassing, insulting, or threatening messages:
- Don't argue
- Take screenshots
- Block the person
- Report the profile
- Secure your accounts (check your privacy settings)
Keeping the conversation inside the app protects you. The platform keeps a record of the messages and can step in if there's a problem. "OK" criteria for moving off the app: enough time chatting, respect for your boundaries, consistent information. "NO" criteria: urgency ("give me your number right now"), emotional blackmail ("if you trusted me, you'd give me your Instagram"). If the person keeps insisting, that's a red flag.
Before meeting in person, you can do a few simple checks:
- A short voice or video call
- Simple questions to check consistency (age, city, job)
- Make sure the photos match reality
At Match, safety and privacy are built into your experience from the start:
- Location data used first and foremost to suggest relevant profiles, in line with the purposes you choose
- Settings that are easy to change and fully transparent
- Robust reporting and blocking systems
- Human moderation and anti-harassment prevention tools
- Strict data protection standards and a privacy-by-design approach
The goal? A dating experience that’s enjoyable, respectful, and fully in your control.
Before the IRL date
Prepare for the date so you never find yourself trapped.
The place should be:
- Busy (with people around)
- Well lit
- Close to public transportation
- Staffed (coffee shop, bar, restaurant)
- Not his place, not yours, on the first date
- You get there and leave on your own
- Your phone is charged
- You have a plan in case you need to leave quickly (rideshare app installed, a friend available)
Send a trusted person:
- The person's first name or username
- The location of the date
- The time of the date
- A screenshot of the profile
- A planned check-in time
- A code word in case of trouble
Never reveal on a first date:
- Your exact address
- Details about your family and friends
- Specific professional information
- "I live alone"
- Your daily routines
Before the date, prepare your exit plan:
- A friend who knows about your date
- A code word to signal a problem
- A scheduled check-in call
- Your own way home
- One rule: you can cut the date short without explaining yourself
During the date
You have the right to protect yourself while still enjoying the moment.
The place should be:
- Busy (with people around)
- Well lit
- Close to public transportation
- Staffed (coffee shop, bar, restaurant)
- Not his place, not yours, on the first date
- You get there and leave on your own
- Your phone is charged
- You have a plan in case you need to leave quickly (rideshare app installed, a friend available)
Send a trusted person:
- The person's first name or username
- The location of the date
- The time of the date
- A screenshot of the profile
- A planned check-in time
- A code word in case of trouble
Never reveal on a first date:
- Your exact address
- Details about your family and friends
- Specific professional information
- "I live alone"
- Your daily routines
Before the date, prepare your exit plan:
- A friend who knows about your date
- A code word to signal a problem
- A scheduled check-in call
- Your own way home
- One rule: you can cut the date short without explaining yourself
After
After the date, take time to debrief without blaming yourself.
Send a message to your trusted person to confirm you got home safely. If you're shaken up, that's legitimate. Give yourself time to process.
If the date went well and you want to continue, set a framework now:
- Pace of messages and dates
- Where you meet
- Communication (social media, phone number)
- Sex (consent, pace)
- Respect for your boundaries
Three options:
- A short message: "I'd rather leave it here, I wish you all the best."
- Blocking directly if you feel uneasy
- Zero justification: you don't owe an explanation
If the person harasses you after the date:
- Keep the evidence (screenshots)
- Block the person everywhere
- Report the profile on the app
- Protect your social media (privacy settings)
- Ask for help from people you trust or from the authorities if needed
If things go wrong
If you feel in danger right now
Immediate actions:
- Move toward a busy public place
- Call someone you trust
- Ask staff for help (bar, restaurant, store)
- Call emergency services: 911
If you’re facing blackmail / sextortion
Actions:
- Never pay
- Keep all the evidence (screenshots)
- Report the profile and the account
- Secure your accounts (change your passwords, check your settings)
- Ask for help: contact a support organization, someone close to you, or the authorities
You are not to blame. Blackmail is a crime.
If you have been assaulted
Priorities:
- Your safety: get somewhere safe
- Medical care: go to the ER or a specialized center
- Evidence: if possible, don’t wash or change clothes before the medical exam
- Support: reach out to someone you trust or a victim support organization
- Filing a report: if you wish, you can report to the police (you are not required to)
You are not responsible for what happened. You deserve help and support.
This checklist gives you safety tips for women on dating apps. You can check the safety features available (profile verification, reporting, blocking) and know how to report harassment or assault experienced through a dating app in the United States. Protecting yourself is legitimate.
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