Everything You Need to Know About Relationship Status

Relationship statuses are usually clearly defined. You know where you stand. Your other half, if you have one, knows where they stand. And if you have a social media presence, you’ve probably announced it to everyone else as well.

But relationship statuses are not always that clear. There are complications and uncertainties, and you might be wondering exactly where you stand.

What Does “Relationship Status” Mean Exactly?

A relationship status is literally the status that your relationship is in, but it also covers statuses for people not in relationships. You may be asked for your relationship status when completing a form, including a legal form, as well as when you sign up to a social network. Most of these options will let you enter something vague and non-committal, suggesting you’re in a difficult stage of transition (although there is an option for that, as discussed below) or just want to keep it to yourself.

A relationship may also be referred to as a marital status.

A Breakdown of All Possible Relationship Types

There are a few main relationship status types, including:

Single

You are not in any type of relationship. You might be dating and could be sexually active, but you’re not a couple, you’re not tied to anyone, and you’re free to see who you want.

It’s possible to be single while still having somewhat regular sexual contact with someone, just as it’s possible to still be single even if you have been on a few dates with someone. It all depends on whether you have committed to being exclusive with anyone or you’re free to do as you please with anyone you choose.

It’s Complicated

If you’re here because you’re trying to decipher your relationship status, meaning you don’t really fit anything specific, there’s a good chance this is where you belong. “Complicated” relationships cover a wide spectrum of types. It all comes down to the individual and whether they deem their situation clear and obvious or complicated and uncertain.

Some of the situations in which a person might describe their relationship as “complicated” include:

• They have recently ended a relationship but there is still a strong connection
• They are with someone special but are not yet exclusive
• You were divorced or separated but have entered a new relationship

Young adults are more likely to use this relationship status, but relationships can be complicated at any age, and these days it’s normal to see it being used by young and old.

In a Relationship

You are with someone. You have committed to them, but they are not your spouse and you are not engaged, either. It can range from someone you have just started dating and are comfortable with to someone you love deeply and even have a kid with. There’s also something known as a common law marriage, whereby you exist like a married couple but aren’t actually married (only recognized in a handful of states).

All of these relationship statuses fall under the term “in a relationship”.

Engaged/Married

You are either engaged or married. You have a fiancé, fiancée, husband, or wife. It’s an easy one to define, although it gets a little more complicated if it ends and you enter a new relationship.

Separated/Divorced

You were married, but the marriage has since ended and you’re not yet with anyone else. Some people will continue to use “divorced” as their relationship status even when they connect with someone new.

The difference between separated and divorced is that the former comes after the relationship is over but before the divorce is official.

Widowed

You were married, but your husband or wife died. As with “divorced”, this is a label that people often continue to use for long after their spouse’s death. In many cultures, widowed women will also wear black for many years and even to the end of their lives, seeing it as a way of showing respect to the dead.

Other Relationship Status Types

If you are in a “friends with benefits” relationship, one in which you have regular sexual contact with a friend but don’t commit to exclusivity, you might define your relationship as “complicated”. The same is true for open relationships and open marriages. These could also be stated as their own relationship type, but it’s unlikely that you’ll see these options while setting up your Facebook profile.

How to Understand Which Situation You’re In

As strange as it might sound to some people, it can be difficult to know what your relationship status is. A marriage is cut and dry. No one is confusing that. But what happens if you agree to take an extended break but are neither separated nor divorced?

The line between “single” and “in a relationship” is also regularly blurred. You could be with someone that you have strong feelings for, someone you have regular contact with, but you have yet to have the “exclusivity” conversation.

Here are a few things that might help:

Be Introspective About Your Current Relationship

Focus on yourself for a minute. Think about your current relationship and where you really see it. Don’t get distracted by what the other person might think and feel. Of course, a relationship requires at least 2 people, but right now, you’re the one being asked about your status, and you’re the one trying to define it, so focus on yourself.

Understanding Your Expectations

What do you want from the relationship, and can you see it progressing? If you’re in a struggling marriage and have recently taken a break, ask yourself if you actually want or expect to get back with your spouse. If not, you’re separated. It might not be official now, but that’s certainly where it’s heading.

Take All Factors Into Account

Two of the things you should ask yourself when defining a relationship status is, “Does it matter?” and “Will it affect someone else?”. Take Facebook relationship statuses as an example. They don’t really matter, but if you keep yours as “single” even though you have been with someone for many weeks or months and they love you, you could be hurting them. By the same token, immediately switching from “Married” to “Separated” or “It’s Complicated”, even though nothing is certain and no announcements have been made, will just create drama for you and your spouse.

Updating Your Relationship Status: When and How

There are usually two types of people when it comes to changing relationship statuses. First you have the impulsive and reactive group who immediately change their statuses. The relationship might have only been over for a few minutes, but they have already changed it and are fielding comments from friends and family members.

While it’s often seen as attention seeking, either to get pity following a breakup or to get attention following a new relationship, it’s also a good way of getting things over and done with. You’re not delaying. You’re ripping off the Band-Aid, dealing with the fallout, and making things easier going forward.

The other group will maintain the status quo, so to speak. They don’t want any of the drama. They don’t want curious friends and family members asking about their new partner and they definitely don’t want questions and pity that inevitably follows a breakup.

The “right” option might fall somewhere between these two extremes, but in reality, the best option is the one that works for you. Just spare a thought for your partner (ex or current) before you leap. If they are a new partner, you may also wish to consult them first. Make sure they are comfortable with you announcing your relationship to everybody and give them a chance to change their status at the same time.

Conclusion

A relationship status is something that we all have and something that we all should know, but it’s not always that straightforward, as the above guide shows. The good news is that legal forms and employment forms don’t really care about the specifics. They’re not there to provide special support and help you ascertain whether you’re single or in a relationship. They really just want to know if you’re single, married, or any degree of separated. Social networks can be a different story, but in that case, it’s not official, so there’s no pressure!

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