Will You Have Chemistry In Bed?

You feel sparks over email and on those first few dates. But will you two click behind closed doors? Here’s how to tell.

By Julie Taylor

ood sex is important to the longevity of any great relationship. That’s why many people don’t even bother pursuing a long-term commitment if the sex is blah. But is it possible to determine whether you’ll have chemistry between the sheets before you’ve even met? Or how about during a first date? We’ve consulted singles and sexperts alike for a crash course in (bedroom) chemistry. Here, our findings — no Bunsen burners required.

Good Sign No. 1: You have cyberchemistry
Did you click over email? Do you have a lively back-and-forth banter? When you
If you clicked over email, there’s a good chance you’ll click between the sheets.
correspond with that prospect, do you feel funnier or sharper than usual? There’s a good chance that will translate into sexual chemistry. At least that’s what Jill Alford, 36, of Marina del Rey, CA, found. “I met a guy who wrote the best email messages I’d ever read. He had me rolling on the floor laughing one minute, burning with desire the next,” she recalls. “We sent notes back and forth rapid-fire. When we met, all that chemistry I’d felt with him online was there and then some. He wasn’t even my typical type — but when we slept together, there were fireworks!”

One expert we spoke to says that an email can even give clues about the writer’s sexual style or skills. “The more creative and descriptive a person is in email correspondence, the more creative he or she will be in bed,” says Candida Royalle, author of How to Tell a Naked Man What to Do. If someone writes long email messages, Royalle notes, he or she might be engaging during sex, rather than someone who rushes through the act. “Conversely, if the person’s answers are brief or terse, you can probably assume that’s how he or she will pace lovemaking: quick, with an eye toward the goal of satisfaction,” she adds.

Good Sign No. 2: Your date’s photo made your heart leap
Sexual chemistry is positively primal — and is often subconscious. But those gut reactions you have the first time you see a person (either in person or online)
The slower you two ate your first meal, the more in sync you’ll be in the bedroom.
can give you clues into the sexual chemistry you’ll feel — or won’t feel — later. “If your palms get sweaty when you look at a person, that’s a good sign,” says Royalle.

Within the first five minutes of seeing the person, did your heart rate increase? Did you feel butterflies in your stomach? Those are two more signals that sexual sparks are sure to fly. “The first time I saw my now-girlfriend Maxine, she rocked my socks off. My heart skipped a beat. I still have that same volcanic reaction when I see her six months later — and it’s only intensified when we make love,” says Joe Lewman, 29, of Omaha, NE. “I guess it’s a chemical thing.”

Turns out it’s also a gene thing. A new study reveals that a cluster of genes involved in immune function could predict how sexually attracted a person is to a partner. That means the same genes that prevent us from getting sick can make us lovesick, too.

Good Sign No. 3: You linger over your first-date meal
Did you both race through that initial meal? Not a great sign. But if you took time to savor and enjoy your meal, you’re likely to savor and enjoy each other… in bed, says Royalle. However, if one of you lingered over the meal while the other inhaled it, this could mean you’ll be out of sync in the bedroom.

Good Sign No. 4: Your first kiss is WOW!
There’s nothing like the end-of-date kiss to gauge your sexual chemistry. It doesn’t have to be a long, lingering kiss, but if you’re sexually in sync you’ll feel nerve endings you never knew you had. “If you feel a thrill or a shiver when your lips connect, it’s definitely there,” concludes William Cane, author of The Art of the Kiss. “When it comes to sexual chemistry, the kiss tells all.”

Julie Taylor is a writer in Los Angeles who’s contributed to Redbook, Cosmopolitan and other publications.
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