Give Yourself The Gift Of Love

This holiday, present yourself with a great romance in the year ahead by following these simple steps.

By Karen Salmansohn

up, it’s the holiday season, and are you feeling as if it’s a case of mistletoe, mistletoe everywhere and not a paramour to kiss…? Are you feeling like Santa was more naughty than nice because he hasn’t brought you anyone to adore? Bah-humbug. Now you’re feeling as if you just want to stay home and drink eggnog alone.

Reflect on your assets daily, and realize what a great catch you are.
Well, let’s change your outlook. Your new perspective should be: Not even 365 shopping days to find next year’s holiday love.

So how do you ensure that next year you will definitely be majorly making out under the mistletoe? Simply follow this shopping guide for love.

1. Shop for mood-boosting thoughts!
No matter how bummed you may be about your singlehood, self-coach yourself into a happier mindset. Nobody wants to snuggle up with Scrooge. Indeed, happiness seems to emit big-time pheromones, attracting more people to you.

To perk yourself up, remind yourself of all the other love you have in your life. You have the love of friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, pets… you have a lot of love all around you. Feel and appreciate that love, OK?! And remind yourself that you haven’t settled for a bad relationship. Lucky you—having so much wide open opportunity to find a fantastic new relationship!

2. Use holiday time to do a little consumer research on love.
Start up conversations about love with happy couples or individuals who have a great romance. Ask folks why they think their relationships are thriving. What bumps did they endure? How did they manage to ride out their bumps? Why did they decide to ride out their bumps? Why do they think they’re still enjoying their love ride? From this input, create you shopping list of key qualities to be sure to look for in your new relationship to come.

Start up conversations with people who know you very well. Ask them which of your past loves they found most naughty and which most nice—and why? Now write down your “anti-shopping list “—all of the key qualities your next romantic partner must never, ever have!

3. Increase your assets so you feel confident that you can shop for the highest quality gift of love.
View your love “down time” as a good time to take stock of all your valuable assets—and do what you can to improve those that might need some re-vamping. Specifically, make a list of all your best qualities, and
Start working out more, reading more, relaxing more.
psyche yourself into feeling richly sexy and bountifully desirable. Reflect on those assets daily, and realize what a great catch you are. You’ll be filled with more confidence, which is a very alluring trait!

4. Trade up in those areas you don’t feel are premium-quality.
Next, make a list of all qualities you presently feel slightly vulnerable about—then make a plan to hone up on these qualities. For example: Maybe you’re feeling as if, since Halloween time, you’ve been eating too much candy… or that you never have enough to talk about on first dates… or that you are just too tense about your current lack of love. Resolve all that: Start working out more, reading more, relaxing more.

5. Hire personal shoppers to find for your gift of love for you.
Don’t be shy about directly telling people about your hope for finding that gift of happy love. Share your shopping list of top qualities you are looking for in a love—as well as your anti-shopping list… those deal-breakers you no longer will put up with. Put the word out: Let your friends know, as well as close co-workers, relatives… whomever you are close to. The more you let others do some of your shopping for you, the more you will increase your percentage probability of finding that elusive gift of fulfilling love. Let the people who love you, know you, and care about you choose the perfect partner for your upcoming year of romance!

Karen Salmansohn is a best-selling author of 27 books, including The 7 Lively Sins: How to Enjoy Your Life Dammit, and a life coach. Her website is
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