Learn The Art Of Seduction

Want to get that special someone hot under the collar? Try one of these easy ways to make your move—a sexy glance, a sweet whisper, and more.

By Sari Locker

ver wish you were one of those lucky people who oozes sensuality and knows how to make just the right romantic move at the perfect time? Well, you can be. The art of seduction is well within anyone’s reach. All you need to learn are a few simple techniques that will exert such a powerful force, you won’t know how you ever dated without them. Read on for the scoop, then get ready to be a smooth operator when wooing your special someone.

Reach out and touch someone
When you feel ready and raring to get closer to your date, touch is often the ticket. Not only does it forge an instant physical connection, the warmth of your hand
Getting your date hot and bothered largely boils down to tapping into your natural sensuality.
on the small of your date’s back, shoulder, or knee will get his or her mind racing. Matt, of New City, NY, has often used this technique with great results. “When I’m talking to a girl and I find myself wanting to take things further, I start playing with her hair,” he says. “We’ll be sitting on the couch, and I’ll be next to her stroking her hair. When it feels right, I’ll rest my hand on the back of her head and gently pull her in for a kiss. Because I’m already playing with her hair, it feels like a natural next step, not like I’m suddenly putting the moves on her.”

Turn down the volume on your conversation
You can also use conversation to cast a spell on the object of your affections. In this case, it’s often not what you say, but how you say it. People who talk loudly and jovially can be the life of the party, but speaking softly actually packs much more punch in the turn-on department. Your date will probably lean in a little closer to catch what you’re saying—and that’s always a plus. He or she may also get the feeling that you don’t want anyone else to hear what you’re saying, adding a nice umbrella of privacy and intimacy to your conversation. Even better, try whispering in your amour’s ear—a move that always gets things going for Guillermo of Fort Worth, TX. “It lets her know what it will be like to be close to me and lets her feel my warm breath on her ear,” he explains. Both of which can really get your date’s senses tingling. And you don’t even have to try to say something smooth and sexy—that, in fact, can be overkill. Have fun with it, advises Guillermo. Try something a little goofy like, “I have a secret I want to share: Sometimes I watch Gilmore Girls. But that’s between you and me; promise?”

Take it slow and sensual
Seems obvious, but it’s easy to forget: Getting your date hot and bothered largely boils down to tapping into your natural sensuality. Says Melissa, of Tarpon Springs, FL: “For me, being seductive is about making everything I do a bit sexual—though not in an overt, double-entendre way,” she says. “I kind of remind myself to slow down and be sexy when I walk, or to take a bite of food and look at him at the same time.” To help this along, steer date night
“Seduction is a give and take. I don’t think it’s necessarily up to the guy to make all the moves.”
conversation away from topics like bird flu and focus on more sensual topics, like your trip to Costa Rica or how amazing your tiramisu tastes. Enhance the sexy mood by looking at your date’s lips or into his or her eyes… and think about what it would be like to be kissing. Trust me, your date will notice a difference, and things will shift to a more intimate level.

Smooth-talk your way into a kiss
Leaning in for that first kiss is largely a leap of faith—you never truly know if your date’s glad you did until you pucker up and go for it. But believe it or not, smooth operators have come up with some strategies to ease into it. “When I want to seduce someone, I’m kind of playful about it,” says Mark, of Hill City, SD. “At a point during the night when I want to kiss her, I’ll whisper, ‘What would you say if I kissed you right now?’ It tells her that I want to kiss her, builds some sexual tension—and if she doesn’t want to kiss me, she can say so before I go for it.”

Go for the give-and-take
Seductive types send “I want you” signals early and often — a tap on the knee or arm to emphasize a point or a compliment like “You look amazing in that shirt” — and they wait for the object of their affections to respond before inching ahead. As Mike from Santa Monica puts it: “Seduction is a give and take. I don’t think it’s necessarily up to the guy to make all the moves. Seduction should be a slow, sexy exchange.” With the last woman he dated, that was definitely the case. “Our dates didn’t consist of me putting the moves on her, but rather a back and forth flirtation,” he recalls. “For example, over dinner, I would tell her how beautiful she was, then she would touch my arm, and then I would pour her wine. When we finally hooked up, it was amazing because the buildup was so drawn out. Plus, since we both participated in the seduction, we knew our feelings were mutual.”

Sari Locker is a sex educator, TV personality, and author of the bestseller, The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Amazing Sex. She has an M.S. in Sexuality Education and was the host of Late Date with Sari on Lifetime Television. Her website is
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