7 Ways To Tell Your Date’s Got The Write Stuff

Living in the digital age doesn’t mean it’s time to write off the importance of penmanship in assessing your romantic compatibility. Find out what clues are hidden in your date’s handwriting style here.

By Kimberly Dawn Neumann

ooking for love online? Well, before you believe everything the computer conveys, keep in mind that there is a wealth of information to be gleaned from observing your date’s penmanship as well. “People can say anything, but their handwriting never lies,” says Secret Service-trained Michelle Dresbold, one of the top handwriting experts in the U.S. and author of Sex, Lies and Handwriting: “If you really want to get beyond the polite chit-chat or those emails/IMs and learn about your date, hand that person an old-fashioned piece of paper and a
If the dot is placed high, you’ve got a dreamer on your hands.
pen.” In fact, Dresbold can tell from a simple sentence if someone is telling the truth, has trouble committing in relationships, or might be keeping secrets. And with a little script-based sleuthing, so can you!

Below, Dresbold gives seven tips for deciphering your date’s long and shorthand… because in this case, a signature may actually be worth a thousand words.

1. Look at your date’s lower loops
To get a sense of your date’s sexual leanings, you’re going to want to check out their lower parts. No, not their physical parts — get your collective minds out of the gutter. We’re actually instructing you to take a look at their style for writing out lower-case (and sometimes upper-case) f, g, j, q, y and z letters, which include a loop (or lower extension) that goes below the line. This area in particular is where you can learn a lot about your date’s physical proclivities. “The lower zone correlates with the lower body. What goes on in your lower body? You walk. You run. You dance… and you make love,” says Dresbold. “The lower zone represents your physical, material and sexual needs, urges and appetites.”

If your date’s handwriting includes a large lower loop, it means he or she has a high sex drive and a very sexual nature. If there is a small loop or no visible lower loop (which looks more like a short, straight line), it means that person has a lower sex drive. If the lower loop has a break or a gap, the person may have sexual issues or have experienced some sort of sexual trauma. Also, take a look at the direction of these loop points; most people will have a loop that curves to the left, but if your date’s loops vary (i.e. some curve to the left and some curve to the right), get ready for an interesting time in bed, as these people are typically unconventional lovers.

2. Take a look at how he or she crosses the letter t
“The way you cross your t indicates how you push forward towards your dreams and goals in life,” says Dresbold. “I call it the ‘telltale t.’” On that note, someone who crosses the letter t low on the stem probably sets his or her goals and aspirations in life too low (so if you desire someone who is on the fast track to success, this may not be your match). If the letter t is crossed in the middle of the stem, your date is probably a practical thinker. If the t is crossed at the top of the stem, this indicates your date is a go-getter — someone who’ll reach high to achieve dreams and goals. If the t crossing hangs only on the left side of the stem and doesn’t cut completely through it, your date may be a procrastinator; however, if the t is crossed only on the right side of the letter’s stem, you may be dealing with someone who is impatient. Also, check the amount of pressure applied: if the t is crossed with a strong and firm stroke, this person has the energy and verve to reach for success. On the flip side, if the t is crossed lightly, this person doesn’t put enough energy into getting what he or she wants…which could mean that, even if your date likes you, this person may not expend enough effort to keep you around!

3. Identify the dotted i for additional insight
What’s that saying about always crossing your t’s and dotting your i’s? Well, you’ve already seen what you can learn from a t, but when it comes to analyzing the i, there is a lot of information hidden in the dot. If the i has a nice little dot placed right above the stem, your date is likely to be loyal, faithful and possibly a little bit of a homebody (curling up on the couch with this one could be fun!). If the i is dotted to the left of the stem, it indicates that your date is not very spontaneous and tends to think too much, so this is someone who will likely plan out your dates. If this person dots the i to the right of the stem, you’re dealing with a forward thinker (in other words, this date may be sizing you up for your “future” potential). If the dot is placed high, you’ve got a dreamer on your
Very good friends frequently have comparable handwriting as well.
hands. If the mark at the top of the i resembles more of a dash than a dot, don’t be late — this kind of person tends to be impatient. And if the dotted i is punched really hard into the paper, your date may have a nasty temper (imagine this person signing something and pounding the dot into the page…you get the picture). If the dot actually looks more like a circle, your date enjoys getting attention (in other words, don’t be surprised if this type is very extroverted and likes to be the life of the party). And if hearts and flowers find their way into your date’s dotting equation? Dresbold says your date is either under the age of 14 or simply a hopeless romantic.

4. Survey your sweetie’s scripting slant
Is your date an optimist or a pessimist? Upbeat — or got a case of the blues? The direction that your date’s handwriting “leans” toward can tell you whether you’re dealing with a positive character or someone who might edge towards being more moody. First, take a look at your date’s letters. The more they slant toward the right, the more emotional and impulsive this person will be in general. However, if the letters slant backward (i.e., lean to the left) visually, communication could be tricky with this one if you end up in a relationship together. Why? Left-leaners also tend to pull back emotionally and can be closed off at times, especially when confronted with an issue (after which they’ll likely need time to think and may withdraw). No noticeable slant one way or the other in your date’s script? This straight-up-and-down type likes to be in control and is probably a little more driven by his or her head instead of the heart in relationships (so if you’re looking for a practical partner, this could be your match — but to get romantic, this person may require a little coaxing). When surveying someone’s handwriting “slant,” you want to look not only at the individual letters, but also the entire row of words to get a clear picture. If the whole line visually goes uphill, you’re dealing with an optimist who has energy and is usually successful. If the whole line appears to go downhill, you’re dealing with someone who is lacking energy and can sometimes get depressed.

5. Notice the nuances in how numbers are written
Couldn’t quite get your date to write you a note for your analysis? At the very least, try to take a look at the signed-off check (if your date paid this time) or ask this person to write down his or her phone number (instead of just sending it to your phone via text or calling you first). “If you can’t tell what the numbers are — for example, a 2 could be a 4, or a 7 could be a 9 — this person could be a con artist,” warns Dresbold. “The same thing goes for illegible writing of any kind. These people are usually hiding something or are keeping secrets — beware.” Also take a look at how this person writes the number 7. If your date is one of those people who puts a slash through the lower stem, this person is likely into culture, could be very well-traveled and may actually have a gift with languages or enjoy learning new words. And finally — although it tends to be rare — if your date puts a diagonal slash through the numeral 0 (zero), Dresbold says that this person may be a little weird…or simply into science. So perhaps that means dating this person would really be an example of weird science? You’ll just have to figure it out by getting to know each other better.

6. Don’t discount your date’s doodles
Uh-oh… you caught your date doodling during drinks. Before you get offended and decide it’s a sign of someone being “just not that into you,” realize that studies have shown that people who doodle during a conversation will actually remember more of it later. So let your date draw on that napkin now, and then think of you in great detail after getting home! When it comes to specific doodles, however, you can get a little extra insight on the spot. For example: hearts indicate the doodler’s a romantic (shocker, right?). But if your date is drawing very geometric stuff, like cubes, triangles and rectangles, you’ve got an analytical type in front of you. If the shapes are very curvy (and this goes for letters, too), chances are that this person is quite feminine. And finally, if your date draws little skulls, knives or crossbones onto his or her cocktail napkin, “it’s probably best to get out of there at your earliest opportunity — like now. Run, don’t walk, and don’t look back unless you want to end up as another cautionary tale on America’s Most Wanted!” warns Dresbold.

7. Check to see if you’re cursive copycats
Another tip for assessing your compatibility: seeing if your date’s handwriting looks like yours. Though opposites may sometimes attract, it’s actually been proved that people with things in common tend to last for the long-term in relationships. “I’ve found that couples who have been married for a long time and are happy often have similar scripts,” says Dresbold. “Very good friends frequently have comparable handwriting as well.” But don’t give up hope completely if your handwriting doesn’t seem to indicate a perfect match. Dresbold says that sometimes, dating someone with a different kind of script can actually serve to “complete” you (which would explain why it’s a good idea to consider all the handwriting clues in concert and not just one at a time). Also, if you look at your own script and it doesn’t seem to bode well, don’t panic: “Evidence has shown that if you alter your handwriting, you can change negative personality traits and your love life,” says Dresbold.

Now, who said that penmanship no longer matters? Go write someone a love letter the old-fashioned way…and include a little doodle of a heart somewhere for good measure!

Kimberly Dawn Neumann ( is a New York City-based freelance writer whose work has appeared in Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Women’s Health, Marie Claire, Maxim and more. A frequent online contributor for’s Happen magazine, she’s also the author of The Real Reasons Men Commit and Sex Comes First as well as the founder of She crosses her t’s high and has been known to doodle hearts…a lot.
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