Succeed At Online Dating!

Attention, Internet daters: Boost your odds of romantic success with these unexpected tips from the professionals.

By Julie Taylor

ure, relationship experts are frequently a source of invaluable tips and tricks on online dating—but great advice often comes from the unlikeliest of sources. That’s why we’ve consulted sales managers, photographers, motivational speakers, and even career counselors to get their unique perspective on succeeding at online dating. Their out-of-the-box strategies just might help you meet your match.

Strike a pose
“Recruit a friend to take a photo of you outside in natural light. A photo taken with a
“Wear dark clothes in your photo, so your face is the brightest thing in the picture.”
flash simply isn’t as flattering. Don’t face the sun, or else you’re likely to squint. Wear dark clothes so that your face will be the brightest thing in the photograph. Ask your pal to turn the camera vertical and zoom in for a closeup—that way, you won’t be surrounded by a big, empty background that will detract from the main focus: you.”
—Andrew Kitchen, professional photographer (

Revamp your romance resume
“Searching for a good relationship is very similar to searching for a good job. In both pursuits, you have to think of the hunt as a marketing challenge. You are the product you’re marketing, and you need to know your product inside and out. This requires great self-understanding. What are your talents and your unique knowledge? What are your personal values and personality traits? Spend some time reflecting on what makes you you—and different from most other people. Then think of your profile as your marketing document or resume. Instead of using generic words and phrases to describe your interests, take the time to define your motivating strengths. It can be very challenging, and it isn’t something that can be slapped together in five minutes. But once you define the true essence of who you are in your profile, you’ll see positive results.”
—David Borchard, Ed.D., career management consultant and author of Will the Real You Please Stand Up?: Find Passion in Your Life and Work

Meet truth-in-advertising standards
“Never resort to false advertising or just saying anything to make people respond to you. Always say it straight, and be honest about what you’re selling. Remember: You can’t sell something you don’t have! That means always posting a recent photo that actually
“Searching for a good job is similar to searching for a good relationship.”
looks like you and divulging your accurate age and weight. Otherwise, you’re in for many false starts and a lot of wasted time and energy.”
—Mike Schultz, MBA, management consultant,

Be a master of spin
“The right word choice is crucial in the power of persuasion. The corporate world is masterful at this. Kentucky Fried Chicken became KFC when ‘fried’ became a bad word. Used cars have now become ‘pre-owned’ because that makes us feel better about buying them. Flight attendants say ‘in case of a water landing’ rather than ‘in case we crash.’ Take a good look at your profile and the emails you send, and see where you can tweak your word choices. Essentially every negative can be turned into a positive. It’s all in the phrasing.”
—Kurt W. Mortensen, motivational speaker and author of Maximum Influence: The 12 Universal Laws of Power Persuasion,

Julie Taylor is a regular contributor to Happen. Her work has also appeared in Redbook and Cosmopolitan.
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