Hey, Want To Meet Someone Special?

Shy around guys? No worries! The authors of The Bunny Book share their advice on surprisingly subtle ways to make men notice you.

By Chelsea Kaplan

hy gals, take note: Approaching — and even flirting with — that cute guy you just made eye contact with is a lot easier than you think! With a few tips from the pros — namely, Deanna Brooks and Serria Tawan, Playboy Bunnies and authors of The Bunny Book: How to Walk, Talk, Tease, and Please Like a Playboy Bunny — you’ll gain the knowledge that expert flirts have known for a long time. If you’re ready to ditch your timid persona and take your love life into your own hands, read on. Here’s what the authors had to say.

When it comes to approaching men, many women are shy. Why do you think this is?

Deanna: When it comes to approaching a guy, most women don’t want to come
Try holding that cute guy’s gaze for 5 seconds longer.
off as desperate or too aggressive. At the same time, some women simply don’t believe they should ever have to approach a guy.

Serria: When you flirt, you risk rejection, and everyone hates rejection. Women aren’t used to it as much as guys are, so we really take it personally. Additionally, practice makes perfect with most things, and when it comes to flirting, most women just don’t have enough practice.

What are some first steps you recommend to a shy woman to build up her courage so she can approach a guy she’s eyeing?

Serria: We actually don’t recommend “picking up” guys. Instead, we recommend the “reverse pickup” where a woman flirts with her eyes and makes herself approachable enough for the guy to pick her up. We found that guys like to be the instigators. Learning how to simply talk with guys is important, too; if you want to practice, do so in an environment — like a bookstore — that is less pressure-filled than a bar or club. Ask a guy who’s scanning a book if he heard anything good about that particular book. In other words, learn to just make conversation, as opposed to perfecting the art of the pickup.

How can a shy woman muster up the confidence to flirt with a guy she finds attractive?

Deanna: Think about flirting as just giving a little extra attention. See the cute guy across that bar who catches your glance? Well, hold it for a bit longer… five seconds will do. Throw him a smile or a wink if you can pull it off without being cheesy. Try practicing on a good girlfriend first—she will tell you if you can’t do it!

Serria: I’m personally a fan of physical contact, but nothing over the top. I like happy accidents, like squeezing past a cute guy so that I have to grab his waist and move
Get a pair of jeans that make you look fantastic.
him. Then when I walk past I’ll turn to him, smile and wink, just to let him know that I’m totally aware of what just happened. Flirting is fun, so have fun with it!

What about body language?

Deanna: Make sure that your body doesn't read “I’m not available.” An open posture — no crossed arms, etc. — can do wonders for you. If you are out with the girls, don’t huddle together like you are sharing your deepest dark secrets; a worthwhile guy will not interrupt that scene.

My next favorite tip is to find (or get) your own walk. Every girl should have one that matches her attitude in life. If you couldn’t say one word to anyone in a room but needed them to know who you are, that is what your walk should do for you.

After she’s landed a date, how do you suggest a more reserved woman wow him when they’re out together?

Deanna: Remember, you want to sell your good points, so make sure that you know what those are, and have confidence in them. As cliché as it sounds, be yourself, just your better self! Oh, and do come with an exit strategy, in case the night is just not going the way it should!

In your book, you cite high heels as universally sexy attire but walking in them can be tough. Any tips?

Deanna: First off, if you are having a hard time with the pain level, go to the store and get some pads for the insides of your shoes. Next, practice at home in front of the mirror, and then try something like cooking in them to make sure you’ve got it down. Personally, I think that a girls’ margarita night in heels — and learning to walk in them with a drink or two in you — is in order.

Serria: I agree—practice, practice, practice! Start with lower heels, then work up to three-inch, then four. You can also incorporate wedge heels that can make you feel just as sexy but are more comfy. Well, I take that back—they don't make you feel as sexy as a pair of stilettos, but baby steps, ladies, baby steps.

You’ve made careers out of looking incredibly sexy. What are your recommendations for how to look your best?

Deanna: Get a workout routine, and stick with it, ladies! Try striptease classes. They offer a great workout, and you’ll learn things you can use in the future for fun! Try yoga, too. It’s great for flexibility, which is great for sex. Also, throw out your scales. Muscle weighs more than fat, after all, and the benefits that we want you to see from physical activity are great energy, great posture, flexibility, and a general sense of happiness. Working out will do that for you… it's a scientific fact!

I also think that every girl should have a pair of “love your butt” jeans. You know, the kind that make you look in the mirror and go “Awwww, yeah!” Guys appreciate a girl who doesn’t have to dress to the hilt every moment of the day. Plus, you can dress them up for a hot night on the town.

Serria: Don’t be afraid of makeup. It doesn’t mean that you are less natural. If you’re a make-up novice, go to the make-up counter of your favorite department store and let them try out products on you. Ask how you can recreate it at home. Use neutral colors at first then work your way up to the fire-engine red lipstick. And don’t be afraid to get a little attention. We try not to go overboard, but if you have something that you love about yourself, show it off!

Chelsea Kaplan is deputy editor of and regularly appears as a guest on XM Radio’s “Broadminded.” Her blog, “I’m Somebody’s Mother?” can be found at
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