Win Over His Friends

You should make an effort to charm his pals—they have a powerful influence over him.

By Laura J. Schaefer

ou may think that men never talk about their romantic relationships with each other. It’s all just grunting and shooting hoops, right? Wrong. Men aren’t that different than the fairer sex, and most go to their buddies for advice about girlfriends at some point in their lives. Therefore, you want to make sure that when your name comes up over their pints of Guinness, your man’s group of friends doesn’t execute a collective eye-roll. You must make an effort to charm his pals; they have a powerful influence over his psyche. Besides, chances are your wonderful new man associates with a great group of people… why not get to know them?

Don’t monopolize your man
Guys get very vocal when it comes to this particular crime. “You have
“You have to be willing to share him with us.”
to be willing to share him with us,” says Jason Sorum, a chiropractor. Boys’ time is apparently a sacred institution, and a new girlfriend’s rep will quickly turn sour if she doesn’t respect it. Yes, men are more possessive than you think. But don’t worry, they’ll warm up to you very quickly if you…

Make a sincere effort to get to know them
By “sincere,” we mean engaging his friends in good conversation, asking questions and being a good listener. Granville Engle, a financial analyst, says, “I can tell when she’s just making a token effort at chatting with me when she asks the same question twice.” Making friends isn’t rocket science, so get in there and find out what you have in common with your mate’s pals besides, well, him. Because, hey, the next time you need to move, you could certainly use an extra half-dozen male friends.

Be cool
OK, obviously this is sound dating advice no matter what the topic, but it’s especially important when you meet his friends. What does this
If his friends feel like they have an ally in you, everyone will be happier.
mean exactly? It means you treat your man with all the warmth and respect he deserves, turn off the whine and crack a joke or two. Your man’s friends just want to see him happy, so as soon as they find out how fun and normal you are, you’re in. Just relax and be yourself.

Think of them
If his friends feel like they have an ally in you, everyone will be happier. Do something nice for his pal, like getting him on the list for a show or setting him up with a sweet friend of yours. No sane man is going to turn down a setup when it’s suggested by a beautiful, charming woman like you (they figure all the sexy ladies know each other). This is a great way to mesh two groups of friends, but don’t be overeager and arrange dates between everyone. The best way to orchestrate the meshing is with a couple of informal dinner parties.

Suggest a group date
If you happen to enjoy the same activities as your partner’s group of friends or are open to trying something new, why not take a “the more the merrier” approach? Offer to rent some canoes or shoot some pool… you’ll soon be remembered as the coolest girlfriend in history.

Laura J. Schaefer is a freelance writer.
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