Six Ways To Tell A Prince From A Player

It’s okay to get swept away—by the right kind of guy, that is! How to tell if he’s the one for you or just a headache waiting to happen.

By Debbie Magids, Ph.D.

t’s hard to meet men, let alone a good man, so when you find someone you connect with and hormones fly, it’s easy to lose direction and difficult to know whether he’s a prince or player.

By definition, a prince is the nice guy you probably rejected in high school — the keeper — the one interested in marriage and who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. The player, on the other hand, is the guy you dated or longed to date in high school. He’s the one who’s suave and sexy, and knows it. He’s the one with all the right moves, none of them putting your interests first. And yet, he’s so darn attractive. Here are six features that will help you tell a prince from a player.

A prince calls when he says he will
A player has a
A prince is the nice guy you probably rejected in high school…
long list of excuses as to why he couldn’t call.

A prince puts you first
A player puts everything but you first—work, golf, drinking, friends, you name it.

A prince wants to meet your family and friends
And he wants you to meet his (when he sees the relationship is moving forward). A player may take you out with his friends (or bring his friends along on your date, depending how you view it), even on the first date. Consider this a clear sign
A player will romance you from soup to nuts right away.
that dating you has little to do with building a relationship. As for his family? Don’t plan on meeting them.

A prince invests time in you
Taking time to find out your favorite song, dessert, etc., is a sign of his falling for you. A player puts forth little effort to really get to know you.

A prince is the one who will hand-deliver chicken soup when you’re sick
A player is the one who will be way too busy to see you when you’re sick because it won’t be any fun for him.

A prince will romance you slowly
He does this by bringing you a single flower or bouquet when the time is right, sending a romantic card, or going someplace fancy for dinner to celebrate something special. A player will romance you from soup to nuts right away—dozens of the most expensive bouquets “just because,” going to the most expensive restaurants from the beginning, and other similar extravagances. He’s looking for a quick payoff.

Girlfriend, beware: If it seems too good to be true, it probably is! If you’re caught up in a whirlwind romance, remember, tornadoes sweep in, wreak havoc, and disappear as quickly as they came. Slow and steady really does win the race!

Debbie Magids, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist with a private practice in New York City. She has more than 10 years’ experience as an academic, a clinician and a professor, and she’s been a member of the American Psychological Association since 1989.
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