“Why I Always Get The Guy…”

You know how some women are always surrounded by suitors? Well, you can be, too. Just steal the secrets to their success.

By Chelsea Kaplan

ver wonder what that woman — the one who’s always surrounded by guys and who lands dates left and right — has that you don’t? We did, too, so we polled guy-magnets around the country for their tried-and-true tips for attracting men. Below, find their secrets on getting — and keeping — the guy:

Bring the “A” team
“If I go out with the intention of meeting guys, I never go out with more than two
“There’s nothing more annoying than a gaggle of girls.”
girlfriends. In my opinion, there’s nothing more annoying to guys — at least ones looking for something other than a one-night stand — than a gaggle of giggling, tipsy girls. I make sure that the friends I go out with are great wing women — attractive friends who I know can hold their liquor and who I can count on to be up for a good, drama-free evening — whether we meet guys or not. Whenever I go out with this type of group, they guys are drawn to us like flies to honey. There’s something really alluring to guys about a small group of cool, confident, classy women.”
—Breanna, 30, hospitality services, San Antonio, TX

Relax already
“Here’s my one rule: Don’t be totally focused on ‘getting the guy.’ I think that scares them off! Be happy with your own life, be busy with it, and think of a guy as the icing on the cake—not vital but a nice bonus. Guys pick up on this laid-back attitude and don’t feel as if you want or need anything from them… and then they’re interested!”
—Cassidy, 32, lawyer, San Francisco

Laughter is the best medicine
“It’s always been my theory that guys love it when you laugh at their jokes—or just simply act as if they’re the funniest people on Earth. It boosts their confidence, and what guy doesn’t want to be around a woman who makes him feel good? There’s no need to be completely fake about it—just laugh as genuinely as you can when the guy you’re into is clearly looking for laughs, and encourage him to keep going if it seems like he’s on a roll. You’ll be amazed how quickly it will endear guys to you!”
—Holly, 23, graduate student, New York, NY

Keep up appearances
“I grew up in the South, where women always take the time to look their best. Even though I live up North now, I haven’t changed my habits. I rarely leave the
“Guys love it when you laugh at their jokes.”
house — even to go to the gym — without wearing a cute outfit, perfume, makeup and with my hair looking good, and I always keep a loaded cosmetics bag in my purse. I really think guys — especially the ones where I live — appreciate it when a woman looks put-together and smells nice. Even when I’m seriously dating someone, I never let my commitment to looking good slide even as we get comfortable in our relationship.”
—Tracey, 27, interior designer, Brookline, MA

Play hard – to get
“For me, my version of playing hard-to-get always works. Here’s how I do it: I always make sure that even if I am head-over-heels into a guy, I never let him know — even the slightest bit — that I am. If he calls me, I’ll wait at least three days before calling him back, and when I’m around him, I always act very nonchalant and make sure I talk to others as much as I talk to him. Lastly, I never spill my feelings until at least two weeks after he spills his. I think this leaves a guy always wanting more, and makes him feel like ‘getting’ me is a challenge. Guys like competition and to win, so it’s almost like a game!”
—Sarah, 29, systems analyst, Sacramento, CA

Cast a wide net
“You have to get out there and always go to new places—be they classes, clubs, charity groups. You need new dating pools to meet new guys. If you were looking for a job, you wouldn’t apply over and over again at just one company, right? Same goes with meeting men. Mix up your routine and don’t let it stagnate. There are lots of guys out there, and the more you meet, the more likely you are to find good relationship material.”
—Julie, 37, personal trainer, Evanston, IL

Get in the game
“I have three older brothers — all of whom were huge jocks — so I know about sports just about as much as any guy and actually genuinely love watching games. I think guys love when a girl can talk to them about their favorite team or knowledgeably tease them about why her favorite team is superior to his. Key to using sports knowledge to impress guys is to not be ‘one of the guys’ when you do it—no guy wants to date someone that could just as easily be one of his male friends. Instead, be a feminine, sexy woman who loves sports and shows up in that sports bar in a hot outfit—not wearing a jersey with your face painted! If you’re clueless when it comes to sports, get one of your guy friends to teach you—pronto!”
—Caroline, 31, teacher, Portland, OR

Channel Samantha
“I think that guys have always been attracted to the fact that I am uninhibited about sex; my attitude has always been compared to Samantha Jones on Sex and the City. I think women should enjoy sex without feeling the need for a committed relationship. I find that guys are always attracted to this, and they more often than not want a relationship when I don’t. Maybe it’s the whole wanting what you can’t have thing, but I always find that guys love a woman who feels free to enjoy sex without the emotional trappings, as opposed to one who gets very emotional about the physical part of a relationship.”
—Marnie, 33, television producer, Tucson, AZ

There are two sides to every story: To find out the secrets of guys who always get the girl, Read What's That Guy's Secret?.

Chelsea Kaplan is deputy editor at Her blog, “I’m Somebody’s Mother?” can be found at
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