Shake Up Your Dating Style

Sick of dinner and a movie? Try something new and fresh for your next date!

By Randy B. Hecht

t’s one of the mantras of the online dating crowd: “I’m tired of the bar scene” is right up there with “equally comfortable in jeans or evening wear” and “like long walks on the beach at sunset”. It’s not that the bar scene doesn’t continue to draw a crowd. It’s
Dancing is a sure way to find some new partners.
just that more and more people realize how hard it is to pick one special person out of that crowd and find a long-term meaningful relationship.

That’s the beauty of online dating. There, you’ll find people you’d never in a million years find in a bar… or in any of the other places you’ve looked for love so far. It introduces you to people you wouldn’t otherwise meet. The trick then is to be open to experiences you wouldn’t usually think of as “you”.

If your dating life is in a rut, shake up your dating style. You might just discover a new you…and someone who loves that new you very much! Here are a few ideas to try:

Get off that treadmill ””
Gyms are for workouts, not pickups, so try mixing more variety into your exercise program. Instead of working on the rowing machine, join a rowing team. Instead of wall-climbing, hook up with mountain climbing enthusiasts… or at least a rock-scrambling hiking club. Skate, bike, ski, play tennis… just get out there!

Try some fancy footwork ””
Feel unattractive when you’re sweaty and suffering from helmet head? Burn calories and turn the sexual heat up on the dance floor. Whether you prefer swing,
“Wow! I always wanted to learn that!”
Latin, or traditional ballroom, dancing is a sure way to find some new partners—and there’s a world of romance in two bodies in motion together.

Get a little class ””
What’s on your list of things you always meant to learn? Sign up for a local class in that foreign language, cooking, wine appreciation, pottery, photography…whatever appeals to you. Even if you don’t find a cute study partner, you’ll become more attractive and interesting to someone out there who says, “Wow! I always wanted to learn that!”

Consider group therapy ””
Maybe you love art museums, theater, travel, hang-gliding, or for that matter bowling, and you don’t know enough people who share that interest. OK, then: don’t look to your friends to be activity partners; find activity partners who can become new friends (or more). Can’t find a group? Start one—you’re not the only person in town who would enjoy meeting new people.

Stay engaged ””
The idea here isn’t to try new things just so you can meet someone and then settle into a couple routine. Just as venturing into unfamiliar territory can help us make new connections, trying new things together can help us keep those connections fresh and romantic. After all, it was a spirit of adventure that brought you together in the first place. And what a nice thing that is to preserve in a lifelong love!

Randy B. Hecht is a freelance writer who frequently contributes to Happen magazine.
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