10 Reasons To Love Her Cat

Does your new sweetie have a cat she adores? Here's why you should learn to love the cat too!

By Kate Maurer

xcuse me. You, yes you, the new tall guy who’s been hanging around. Down here. That’s right. We need to have a talk. Sure, she loves your emotional stability and your sense of humor, but don’t think that I don’t call the shots here just because I get called Little Mister Boo-boo Muffin Head.

I keep an eye on everything that goes on around here, and that includes you. I’m going to require some first class treatment if you’re going
When you don’t pet, feed, and acknowledge me, I get nervous.
to be hanging around much longer. We’re talking respect, attention, tidbits, and scratching that spot that makes my butt go up in the air. Think I’m not serious? Consider the following points:

1. She’s observing you when you interact with me. Look at her. She’s sizing you up, evaluating your response to sweet, helpless little creatures like myself. By analogy, this evaluation will apply to her when she’s at her most vulnerable, her future children, her great grandma Tillie. Yep, potential life partner evaluation. Don’t blow it.

2. Eventually, she’ll ask you to feed me when I’m out of town, and I can develop an upset tummy at the drop of a hat, causing you to spend hours inching across her carpet on your knees with a bottle of stain remover. And then I can act really really happy to see her when she gets back, making her wonder...

3. She’ll think it’s really cute if I sleep on your head.

4. Even cuter if I bite into your toes when you turn over, causing you to sit bolt upright and scream in the middle of the night.

5. I can kill a mood in two seconds flat. Watch how I curl around your leg as you lean toward her during that romantic candlelight dinner, flicking my tail
Yep, potential life partner evaluation. Don’t blow it.
up your pant leg, causing you to jump back and spill your red wine on her vintage lace tablecloth.

6. Those pants look like you spent a lot of money on them. Come to think of it, so does that jacket.

7. When you don’t pet, feed, and acknowledge me, I get nervous. I shed more when I’m nervous. A lot more. We’re talking hair St. Helens here.

8. Watch how I stare into the empty closet to gradually convince both of you of my animalistic extra sensory perception. She thinks I know things. And if I have to, I can make the hair stand up on my back every time you walk through the door.

9. I knew her first and let’s face it, I’m cuter. Don’t believe me? Let’s see you lay on your back and bat at a little gingham mouse on a stretchy string, Prince Charming.

10. If she gets tired of you, she won’t have to convince one of her friends to adopt you.

Kate Maurer is a freelance writer who contributes to Happen magazine.
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