Your Date Said

Think you’ve stuck your foot in your mouth? That’s nothing compared to the rude, odd, or just plain bizarre things these suitors have uttered.

By Molly Sorohan

ure, we’ve all had our share of less-than-stellar conversation on dates. But sometimes, the dialogue truly takes a turn into the Twilight Zone, where the person sitting across from you utters something so distasteful or strange you’re compelled to tell friends, “You won’t believe what my date said to me…” for days and even years afterwards. If you’re in need of a laugh — or a comforting reminder that whatever you said on your last date wasn’t that bad — read on.

Watching the bottom line
“I met this guy at a club in New York. He got my number, and we met at a bar a few days later. When I got there, he was already having a beer,
“The guy asked me what size lingerie I wore. I hadn’t even kissed him yet!”
so I ordered a beer. When it arrived, the bartender and I both looked at him, expecting him to pay. He said ‘Oh, if I was rich, I would buy you a beer, but I’m not rich.’”
—Andrea, 30, New York, NY

A pound foolish…
“While out on a date with this gorgeous Italian guy, I told him that I’m a dancer. And though I’m usually very active, I’d recently had knee surgery, so I wasn’t able to dance. I thought he’d be sympathetic to my case, but apparently that passed over him because his next comment was ‘So, now you are going to be a fatty ass?’ I was like ‘What?!’ and he said, ‘You know, fatty ass, like you have fatty ass?’ I was so horrified. I don’t care if there is a language barrier… you just don’t say anything like that. I’m sure he thought he was being funny, but the only view he saw of my backside was as I left, never to see him again!”
—Dawn, 32, Denver, CO

A strange change of plans…
“A girl who works out at my gym asked me out. We were supposed to go to a movie, but when I met up with her, she said ‘Why don’t you meet my parents instead?’ On the first date?! I went along with it, and her parents seemed to really like me, but that was way too much too soon.”
—Brendan C., 24, Charlotte, NC

A two-timer’s technique
“During our dinner date, just to make conversation, I asked my date, ‘So do you live alone?’ He said to me ‘No, I live with my girlfriend but she’s in Florida for the week.’ I couldn’t believe it! He had some nerve.”
—Susan, 26, Cleveland, OH

Mom’s the word
“I was on this amazing first date where we went to a fancy restaurant and had this terrific meal with terrific wine… but the best thing about it was the conversation.
That one kind of brought the conversation to a grinding halt.
We had a ton in common and never stopped talking… until he silenced me by saying ‘You know, you remind me so much of my mother.’ That is the last thing a woman wants to hear. He didn’t understand why I got so quiet—to think he intended it as a compliment!”
—Isabel, 29, New York, NY

Some soul (and scalp) baring
“At the end of a first date, this guy said to me, ‘I really feel like I know you and that I can tell you this: When I was twenty I was diagnosed with alopecia, which caused me to lose all my hair permanently. Later on, I decided to get a hair transplant. When I was under the knife, I went into convulsions and now I have horrible scarring on my head.’ He then explained that he had a hairpiece. That was waaay too much information!”
—Annie P., 25, Akron, OH

Out of bounds
“On our second date, the guy asked me what size lingerie I wore. I hadn’t even kissed him yet or held his hand! It was so inappropriate.”
—Keira, 25, Sacramento, CA

The truth hurts…
“I was on this date with a guy who was about five years older than me. There was something about this guy; he seemed a little too full of himself. Still, I wasn’t expecting him to say ‘You know, I seemed to be attracted to really young, messed-up women.’ So I said ‘Hmm… I assume you aren’t putting me into that category.’ And he said ‘No, I’m not attracted to you at all.’ That one kind of brought the conversation to a grinding halt.”
—M.J., 33, New York, NY

Molly Sorohan is a New York City-based freelance writer.
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