4 Reasons To Date A Dork

Looking for a good boyfriend? Consider these traits that make your average dork seem positively dashing in a relationship context.

By Bob Strauss

icture yourself in the following situation: You’re home on a Thursday night, desperately trying to email a gargantuan PDF file to your boss for his meeting tomorrow morning. However, your broadband connection keeps shorting out, popping the kind of error message on the screen that makes seasoned techies yank out their hair and run screaming for
Dorks are currently the largest untapped natural dating resource.
the fire doors. Would you rather have a boyfriend who a) whacks the monitor with his palm like it’s a color TV, then shrugs and cracks open another beer, or b) rewrites your Windows registry so you can transmit PDF files and then offers you a glass of wine?

If you chose b), congratulations: You’ve discovered the joy of dorks. Usually distinguished by their intense shyness, faulty vision, and obscure fashion sense, dorks are currently the largest untapped natural dating resource in the United States. Not only does dating a dork guarantee you 24/7 technical support, but you also get the following perks:

1. He’s a patient listener.
Unless they’re talking about TCP/IP protocols, dorks rarely try to dominate a conversation. In fact, because they spent their formative years tucked away in computer labs guarding their lunch money, they find the mundane, everyday details of female life as fascinating and exotic as a Discovery Channel documentary on Amazonian beetles—so feel free to explain in detail why you think fuchsia nail polish better suits your complexion than light peach.

2. He’s a faithful companion.
Odds are that your dork, er, your boyfriend, hasn’t had all that much success in the dating department. For all you know, you’re the first real live woman he’s ever been involved with. So even if he had the inclination to squirrel around, it’s
It’s that “let me figure it out and fix it” outlook that you’ll be grateful for.
unlikely he would ever get the opportunity, and besides, dorks are notoriously bad at keeping secrets (since an illicit rendezvous is even more fun to talk about than TCP/IP protocols).

3. He’s a guy who’s not obsessed with sports.
The average dork spent his grade-school years being picked last for team sports, so he’s unlikely to block out entire weekends (which you’d rather spend shopping and snuggling) for football or the NBA playoffs. One caveat, though: Dorks have been known to develop an unholy affinity for baseball, probably because the endlessly complex stats remind them of TCP/IP protocols.

4. He’s a good father.
Unless he has serious overcompensation issues, a dork is unlikely to pressure your son to bulk up for the wrestling team, or discourage your daughter from pursuing a career in science. He’ll be understanding, tender, and unafraid to get his hands dirty. In fact, dorks love to change diapers, which is kind of like taking apart and reassembling a tiny, malfunctioning gizmo. It’s that “let me figure it out and fix it” outlook that you’ll be grateful for, year after year.

Bob Strauss is a freelance writer and children’s book author who lives in New York City. He’s also written the Dinosaur guide on, the online information network owned by the New York Times.
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