Let’s Talk Turkey!

Learn what your favorite Thanksgiving food says about your relationship style — seriously!

By Margot Carmichael Lester

id you know that your favorite Thanksgiving food can reveal a lot about you and your love life? Those dishes you’d tackle Great Aunt Esther to get to can provide some insight on your personality — and maybe even the type of person who matches your appetites.
The side dishes of life are nice, but they are not why you’re there.
So we got a panel of foodies to offer their opinions on popular Thanksgiving fare and what it might say about you. Our experts include:
  • Jenna Bergen, Philadelphia-based author of the book, Your Big Fat Boyfriend: How to Stay Thin When Dating a Diet Disaster
  • Juliet Boghossian, Glendale, CA-based expert in behavioral food analysis and author of Food-ology: You Are How You Eat
  • Russ Carr, St. Louis-based food writer and owner of iM Design
If your favorite food is turkey
“You play to win,” Bergen says. “The side dishes of life are nice, but they are not why you’re there. Your dream partner is an outgoing guy or gal who isn’t afraid to get his or her hands dirty — and that goes for after-dinner dishes, too.”

If your favorite food is Tofurkey®
“Your actions are always deliberate,” Boghossian notes. “You tend to preach or attempt to educate those around you so they can practice or believe as you do. You need someone who wants to be led, has a routine life that will mesh with your disciplined nature, and most important, someone lighthearted to neutralize your seriousness.”

If your favorite food is Turducken
“The bounty of Thanksgiving isn’t enough for you, is it?” Carr observes. “No meager turkey will do; you need poultry stuffed with poultry, stuffed with poultry. You’re starved for attention, so you fill the void with bird after bird. First dates with you are incredible, but second dates are few; you’re the gimmick that everyone wants to try... once. You might consider dating a cardiologist — or at least a poultry farmer.” Then you need to get past the trends and get real in your search for love.

If your favorite food is stuffing
“You are opinionated and traditional by nature,” Boghossian asserts. “You are faithful to the customs you have learned from childhood. Seek partners that are equally traditional, educated and adventurous (being traditional and having a wild side are not mutually exclusive). Without the traditional aspect, your date won’t stand a chance and neither will you.”

If your favorite food is sweet potatoes
“If you take your sweet potatoes whipped with butter, and maybe a bit of orange zest
You should date someone who values family as much as you do.
for some added bite, congratulations. You’re remarkably grounded, well-refined, an excellent conversationalist and probably holding down a good job,” Carr explains. “Be patient; your day is coming soon. If, on the other hand, your idea of sweet potatoes is a huge can of yams smothered in butter, brown sugar and marshmallows that has been broiled into submission? All you want is a sugar daddy or mama.”

If your favorite food is mashed potatoes
“You genuinely appreciate the comforts in life that most people overlook or take for granted,” Boghossian says. “You can mesh with practically any date — but seek your counterpart. Your mutually considerate natures, when they come in contact with each other, have the power to grow into something very special.

If your favorite food is canned cranberry sauce
“You ridicule it for its inherent artificiality, but in the same breath admire it for the geometric precision of its gelatinous cohesion,” Carr says. “The humble can of cranberry ‘sauce’ is classic Americana — just like you. You’re not fancy, you’re not the richest dish on the spread... but you make no pretenses about who you are, and that’s why you’re so cool. You’re not afraid to laugh at yourself.”

If your favorite food is pumpkin pie
“You love tradition,” Bergen notes. “You should date someone who values family as much as you do — someone who’ll sit through two hours of Uncle Jim’s war stories and still have a smile when your mom pulls out the baby pictures.”

Now, there’s no guarantee that the advice here is a recipe for success. But think about what your favorite food conveys to that special someone you recently met or have been with for awhile. If you’re still looking for a date, use these insights to chat up that cutie who’s also working it off at the gym or that attractive stranger whose flight back home (just like yours!) has been delayed.

Margot Carmichael Lester is a freelance writer whose work also appears in Go magazine and The Los Angeles Business Journal.
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