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Match.com Canada. Uniquely Canadian.
The pros and cons of dating a gorgeous gal

The pros and cons of dating a gorgeous gal

By Jon Wilde

I’d like to say that the moment I met Lisa, I knew we’d be together. But really, all I thought when a mutual friend introduced us was: “She’s absolutely beautiful. And way outside my league.” We’re talking swimming pool-sized, almond-shaped eyes, flawless skin, the kind of hair you see in a shampoo ad, perfect curves... everything. Cupid must have owed me one, because that night, our friendly conversation turned into kissing. After a few weeks, kissing turned into a real live relationship.

And that’s when my love life became a rollercoaster ride. I never expected the highs and lows that go along with dating a hot girl, but read on as I spell them out. Hopefully, they’ll help you be prepared if it’s your turn to date an incredibly gorgeous woman.

The good: Pretty things are fun to show off
Remember getting an awesome toy for Christmas and feeling desperate to bring it to school to show it off? Dating a stunner isn’t much different. I think I’ve introduced Lisa to more friends than I knew I had. And lo, the whispers of “She’s beautiful” from the ladies and “Nice job, my man,” from the boys have rained down like songs from the angels. My only disappointment? Not having a high school reunion scheduled for years.
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The bad: Pretty things aren’t so fun to show off to strangers
On the other hand, that positive attention is painful when I don’t trust the person — er, guy — who’s giving it. Going out with Lisa is like carrying a thick T-bone steak while there are wolves in button-down shirts everywhere, ready to pounce. Just as I convince myself I’m being paranoid, some Drakkar-scented predator slinks out of the shadows and starts putting the moves on her. An arm around her waist and a kiss on her cheek usually gets rid of him, but by then, all I want to do is whisk her away to the safety of my apartment. I never thought of myself as jealous, but Lisa has brought out my heretofore latent “protective” side — which isn’t always so pretty.

The good: Snagging a beauty breeds confidence
Never underestimate the ego boost that comes from having a lovely lady on your arm. Just knowing Lisa was my girlfriend made me feel more powerful. I attacked projects at work with more gusto, had more energy during my weekly basketball games, and even started using a pen on the Sunday New York Times crossword. Seriously.

The bad: Relationship doubts are even more severe than usual
Self-doubt can crop up when you’re dating anyone, right? Well, that sentiment becomes even harder to fend off when you feel like the person you’re dating is somehow better than you. With girls before, I’d wondered: “Why is she really going out with me?” but with Lisa, I asked myself for the first time, “Why would a woman as beautiful as Lisa want to be with me at all?” I’d perceived an imbalance in the relationship that messed with my emotions.

The good: She’s the key to the town
Really, what can’t a beautiful woman get? A coy smile from her in the right direction and suddenly I’m through the velvet ropes, sitting at the best table in the restaurant, or — in one prime example of how beauty can tame a beast — escaping legal prosecution. On our first romantic getaway, I was pulled over for speeding. Somehow Lisa, all batting eyes and cooing voice in her Australian lilt (sigh), convinced the cop who was lecturing me that my infraction was her fault and that she was truly, deeply sorry. In the end, the officer gave me a warning and told me to consider myself lucky. I do, and not just for getting out of the ticket.

The bad: You start to forget that you’re great, too
The perks, the attention, the self-confidence — I started wondering how I could have been happy in a relationship without them... or if I was worth any of it on my own. But then I introduced Lisa to a friend who wistfully recounted dating a gorgeous girl in college for a long time. Too long, he explained. They weren’t a good match, but he didn’t end the relationship because he figured he’d never date another perfect 10. It was a cautionary tale that made me wonder: Was I suffering from “I’ll Never Do Better” syndrome? A few times, when fights were brewing, I considered staying silent — she’s so darn good-looking that I was tempted to overlook anything. I had to have confidence in our relationship before I realized that if we were really going to be together, we’d have to talk as equals. And that’s not always so easy to do in the moment.

The good: You realize looks aren’t what matter
I’ve been with Lisa for over a year now, and I can honestly say that I’m with her because she’s the right person for me — not because she fulfills a fantasy. After all, she’s pretty, but it’s not like she’s curing cancer, you know? Just kidding: She actually has a Ph.D. in genetic research and is working for a leukemia specialist (true story). And that’s my point — now I’m confident that I’m with her for all the right reasons, like our shared sense of humor, her astounding intelligence, her beautiful laugh.

It wasn’t easy, but I took her down from the mental perch I’d placed her on. That restored equilibrium to the relationship, and now I feel confident that she wants to be with me. I still hate to see guys try to hit on her, but I can’t blame them. If I were single and met this drop-dead perfect specimen, I’d do the same thing all over again.

Jon Wilde is a freelance writer.



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