Having a fun flurry of dates? Not feeling as if you want to leave your sofa? Maybe you’re somewhere in between? It’s to be expected that your romantic life goes in cycles. And did you know that you have your very own personal dating cycle? Once you acquaint yourself with yours, you’ll enjoy a natural flow of social romance just right for you.
Your dating year mimics seasons, starting with spring and ending with winter. Every three months you are in a new season, and dating takes on a new mood.
It’s all about your personal year. It starts with your birthday and progresses with three-month segments. So if your birthday is August 10, your first cycle is August 10-November 10. The second cycle is November 10-February 10. Your third cycle would be February 10-May 10, and the last cycle is May 10-August 10, when the cycle starts over.
Once you get the hang of your personal dating cycle, your social life gets a lot easier to navigate.
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Cycle One: Explore and adore
Starts on your birthday
From the day of your birthday and for three months following, you are in a romantic growth cycle. Open yourself up to surprising romantic options, accept invitations, and set up your own meet-and-greet occasions to bring dating into play. Your personal magnetism is high, your energy level has just hit the cosmic reset button and you can see an upside even on a down day.
Dating during Cycle One is imperative. You are setting up the next three cycles now, and your effort to explore the social landscape will open you up to a more satisfying social life.
Is there a downside to this phase? Of course. It’s called burnout. Be aware that you might attract more than your manageable share of interest. Give yourself pause to rest and consider the best use of your time. Three months might sound like a long time but a cycle like this picks up speed.
Cycle Two: Let it be
Starts three months after your birthday
It’s time to sit back and review. Your energy relaxes. Review, revise and revisit what you’ve been up to in the last three months. Take time to smell those romantic roses. Loll in what you have going, get deeper with someone you like, let things fade where you know there’s no future.
Take your time. Linger. Choose opportunities for dates that allow conversation, consideration and quiet time. Opt for art, dinner parties and concerts over skiing or hiking. Your mind and body are in need of relaxation and your love life needs to match it. Connect with ideas, discover new books together, watch old movies or take long walks. It’s the quiet inner life that does best right now.
Cycle Three: Rev up and rock on
Starts six months after your birthday
You’ve nourished your soul, or at least you given it some rest. Now you’re back on your Vespa and it’s time to swing through party town.
Energy is up and out again, but instead of the rampant exploration and adventure of Cycle One, you have no need or desire to take risks. Dating is fun, joyful, even giggly. You possess the inner calm of your personal dreams as well as the charm and charisma of a confident, light-hearted smile. You are someone everyone wants to know. Date wisely. Date a lot.
This is your best dating cycle of the year. You carry enthusiasm and mystery in the perfect balance. The world has an appetite for you but it’s up to you not be entirely gobbled up. Choose your company and your timing to your best advantage and enjoy the many options before you. There is no need to race through this lovely period. Wander through this romantic cycle — love just might be around the corner.
Key words for Cycle Three: Effortless passion, joyful connections.
Cycle Four: Refresh and reward yourself
Starts three months before your birthday
It is inevitable: after nine months of exploring romance, you’re going to be tired. Although not apparent in the beginning of this cycle — you probably have another few weeks of glow — you will start to feel that a long rest is in order.
These last three months of your personal year are the best for winding down your dating whirl. If you’re in a relationship, you’ll find that you prefer staying in for a cozy night over going out and carousing, even if friends are begging you to join them. It’s important to serve yourself here. If you are not getting the rest and quiet time you need, you’ll be crabby and disagreeable. And who needs a grumpy date? Dating is quiet fun in this cycle, chatting, texting and joking rather than playing with wild flirtations or devilish risks. The right match brings a haven of serenity, not a three-ring circus.
Take time to reap what the year has yielded. Consider how much fun you’ve had, who you’ve met, how much you’ve enjoyed. There’s more to come. It all starts over with your birthday.