Dating doesn’t have to be hard — yet it’s very easy to let little nagging self-doubts undermine even the best intentions. How often have you put yourself together for a date and let your nerves get the better of you? Your friends tell you how wonderful you are over and over again — but what good is that if you can’t share it with someone special? Sometimes you just have to get out of your own way so that love can take the opportunity to find its best possible outcome. Now you can boost your dating confidence with a little insight from the stars so you can be you — at your best.
Aries: soften your approach
In those rare circumstances when you’re feeling under-confident, you might find yourself overcompensating — by blustering on about your competitive nature or looking for a friendly argument. Tone yourself down by asking questions, and really listen to the answers you’re given. Ask for advice about anything — it shows you’re open. It’s too easy for you look like you don’t need anyone, but that’s not the point of dating, is it?
Taurus: reach out
When you feel anxious about a date, your silence can give the impression that you’re disinterested. Turn up your confidence by going to a place you’ve been before (and enjoy), and use your heavenly Venus-ruled aura to capture someone’s heart. It’s all about tactile pleasures — just brush against an arm, a shoulder or a hand, and you will have a willing heart. Your nonverbal communication says you’re interested if your words fail you.
Gemini: learn to breathe
Nervous by nature, you are the sign most likely to fidget while expressing every single thought that pops into your head, unedited. This is not ideal dating behavior. You’re great at conversation when you’re at ease, so get there by relaxing your breathing. Not just the breathing you do without thinking, but the kind where you take an easy, deep breath in, followed by a slow, thorough exhalation. At the very least, it will give your date a chance to get a word in!
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Cancer: laugh away stress
Dating can be very stressful, especially if you feel put on the spot. It puts your shy, cautious nature right out there for all to see. Your nerves can make you look for excuses to bail, so calm yourself with amusing distractions. Comedy clubs, laser tag, certain sporting events — find something that tickles your interest. This way, you won’t have as much time — or inclination — to start looking for an exit.
Leo: illuminate from within
In rare instances when you are not feeling your usual regality and perfection (and we know this not the status quo), you need to access your inner radiance. The rest of the zodiac looks to you for leadership and light, so when you’ve lost it, we’re all in the dark. Simply feel your heart expand with light and your entire energy will shift into the positive. Light your own way and the one you’re with will be basking in the glow of your company.
Virgo: be a good listener
Your mercurial mind goes into overdrive when you feel as if you’re not fully prepared. Thinking is your worst enemy. Simply let your date take the lead in your conversation and let someone else set the tone. Seriously, you can do this. You’re not in charge of anticipating every moment and having every answer. You’re only expected to shoulder half of the date, hopefully an easy task with your quick wit and natural sincerity.
Libra: lighten up a little
You’re so relationship-focused that every date can become an overwhelming “what if” — what if this is The One? Even if this really is your first date with your soul mate, your nerves might lead you astray. Every date is a practice date for the Libra — it’s not the “real thing” until you’re good and ready. That way you can date someone without feeling pressured to immediately choose a color scheme for the wedding.
Scorpio: relax and take it slow
Your natural intensity gets turned way up when you’re nervous. A good date can bring out your most amazing powers — but, being as powerful as you are, you could scare someone great away. So let yourself loosen up. There’s no hurry! The best way to take a love interest seriously is with sweet, deliberate intention.
Sagittarius: get centered
Ground yourself; you’re like a lightning rod when your energy goes up (like right before a date). Calm yourself with stillness. You are exciting and adventurous, provocative and intriguing, but who would ever know if you’re constantly racing around? Don’t worry, it’s just for a short time. You merely have to sit still long enough for someone to get to see how amazing you are. Plus, you have a killer gaze; use it.
Capricorn: channel your inner rock star
Turn up the radio when you’re getting ready and belt it out, baby. When you’re nervous, you get very collected and organized, just like you would when you’re preparing for a work presentation. A little “rocking out” goes a long way in loosening you up and bringing out your star quality. You’ll create an easy harmony with your new love interest without missing a beat.
Aquarius: get your blood flowing
You are a peaceful, easygoing type. If you are lacking confidence it’s hard to gauge, because you’ll look as if you’re contemplating a distant utopia. To make your date feel as though you’re actually paying attention, you need to stay focused, firmly planted in your body and brightly aware of your surroundings. A quick jump around to get your blood flowing can help bring you back to reality. From there, it’ll be easy to re-focus your attention on your date. I know it sounds odd, but then, that’s Aquarius, right?
Pisces: turn up the music
Your romantic ideals are almost impossible to fulfill and you know this — so you be careful not to undermine a successful date before it even starts. Music is like a drug to you and the right mix of tunes will keep you happy, relaxed and removed from defeatism. Of course, you have to put the playlist together yourself, so keep the songs you choose upbeat and honest. After all, this is the how you want to be perceived by dates.
Astro-coach Barrie Dolnick helps people find love and happiness by understanding their stars and their karmic energy. She is the author of twelve books, including Enlighten Up! and KarmaBabe.