Having a status of separated probably cuts the women that would contact me by half! I know, I know--you think there will be drama involved or some kind of cold dissociative demeanor on my part. I understand. But I don't get along well with overly judgmental folks anyway. It's unattractive when people think they have other people and their situations pegged before they know them.
Well, this sounds grumpy! But I'm not ;) Wink emoticons mean I'm not grumpy! I'm just direct, and even though everyone on here wants honesty, they usually don't. What they actually want is for someone to say what they want to hear and for it be the truth, which is not exactly the same as honesty. I prefer honesty.
I'm an awesome guy. I can be a great husband, father, knight and shining armor, etc. I believe that I can do just about anything I want, but at this point in my life I'm not looking to be a father, husband, or love of anyone's life. Does that mean I'm a player? Certainly not. But here's where I'm at right now: obviously, I'm separated, so there's one thing. Love-of-your life relationships take a kind of devotion that I'm not willing or even able to expend at this time. Does that mean I want to sit at home alone all of the time until I'm ready for that? No. Do I want to take random women home from the bar? Certainly not. I'm looking for a functional, adult interaction with someone. And, yes, I know, so many people feel that if there isn't an "end goal" between a man and woman than they shouldn't interact, or date, or enjoy each other's company. Well, it's not 1864, and if you're still there, cool, but I'm over that kind of thinking. Life is about human interaction, caring, fun, love, feeling, and not just our social "roles". These are important, too, no doubt, but there is more to life. People have value as people and not just moms, dads, husbands, wives, etc.
Another reason I can't be somebodies perfect guy right now is because I'm within a year of finishing a PhD, and there are no jobs in what I do in Pennsylvania. I'll probably pack up shop and move out west in the mountains somewhere. The PhD business is a priority. On top of my graduate studies, I'm a professor, poet, and fiction writer, meaning I claim these jobs on my taxes because I make money doing them, though not much! These things are my passions and career, and they take a lot of my time. That doesn't mean I don't have time for people, but it means I'm structured and disciplined; I schedule a lot of my life. That doesn't mean I can't be sporadic, but if I am, it will probably be between Friday and Sunday, which is only sort of sporadic ;)
I'm educated, but don't be uncomfortable. Sadly, this happens sometimes. I come from a lower middle class family. One parent has a high school diploma and the other a GED. I'm still blue collar. The calluses on my hands will surprise you. I'm still down to earth. I'm just a guy. In fact, I don't get along with most of the people in my profession because they're so out of touch with the real world it's embarrassing. We can talk about that over coffee or drinks ;)
What am I looking for? It's hard to say. I've met so many cool people, made friends with people I didn't believe I could and loved people I didn't think I would. I've learned to give a person a chance. You just don't know the kind of connection you might make. Humanity is a complex thing. Whether you're younger or older than me, please don't be shy.