My caption is a line from one of my favorite movies. If you can name the movie, without cheating*, you win a prize.**
My name is Randy. I'm 28 years old. I'm new to this whole internet dating thing. The thing is I don't really do whole "meeting women at bars" thing as so many I know ascribe too (not that there's anything wrong with that). It also doesn't help that I work a lot on the weekends, so that limits my social livelihood. I manage a Domino's Pizza. I know it's not the most glamorous job, but it pays the bills and leaves me enough left over to live comfortably. I don't really know what I am looking for on here. I guess I'm just trying to see what's out there.
A little about myself:
I love most kinds of sports. Football and baseball would be my top two favorite sports to watch (and play if the situation calls for it). I'd like to find a girl who I can watch a game with and not have to explain all the rules too, or have her get bored and want to change the channel. If she knows what a 6-4-3 double play is, or can call the foul on the field before the ref calls it, I may fall in love. Just kidding.***
Just because I don't like meeting women at bars, that does not mean I do not like to go out. I'm all for going out and having a drink or two to relax. I am also a big fan of staying home, getting comfortable on the couch and watching a movie. So I would like to meet a girl who can do both with grace and dignity.
I have what some would call an amazing sense of humor, though it can be considered crass or uncouth at times. If there is an inappropriate joke to be made, I'm usually the one to do it. I've said "that's what she said" a fair amount of times in my life. So if you don't like to smile, I'm not the guy for you. I'm usually smiling about 92.4% of the time, so it's kind of contagious. But in the good way.
I don't want to say I'm the human embodiment of awesomeness, but I have been accused of it a few times. It's not a side of me that I'm into promoting, but as you get to know me, it becomes pretty apparent. I am what Willis was talking about.
I'm what the French call a "party chameleon".**** I can adapt to each individual party, and can fit into any social situation called for. I like meeting new people, and am usually the center of attention. People tell me I remind them of a young Jerry Seinfeld or an old Richard Pryor (I don't get it either).
I tend to be a Grammar Nazi. If that bothers you, I'm sorry. I can't help it. And if I have made any grammatical mistakes in this blurb, you are welcome to correct me. I always cherish "constructive criticism".
I prefer texting over talking. It's not that I don't like to talk. It's more that I'm not a fan of awkward silences that most long phone conversations tend to create. I've been told I text as fast as a 14 year old girl, which I guess is a compliment. I like phone conversations to last, at most, five minutes. After that, it's either texting or in person conversations for me. Plus, no one has proven that cell phones don't give you ear cancer.
I don't have any children of my own, but I have lots of nieces and nephews. I'm great with kids, and one day when I have some of my own, I will be an awesome dad. And due to the transitive properties of awesomeness, my children (and wife) shall be awesome too.
I like using big words whenever I can. I'm always down for a game of Words With Friends. I'm not saying I'm a genius or anything, but if that's a word you want to use, then I won't stop you.
I don't lie (unless it's in bed), I don't cheat (unless it's death), and I don't steal (unless it's your heart).
I have OCD and ADHD, and if you think that sounds like it would be frustrating, it really is.
I'm really trying to use all of my allotted characters in this thing. It is harder than I thought.*****
* I'll know if you do
** The prize is me
**** I don't really speak French, though I am a fan of French Fries and Toast