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Rev Up Your love Life With These Tips!

ozzymaya

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37 year old man
New Brighton, Minnesota, United States

Seeking:
women 27-37
Within:
50 Miles of Saint Paul, Minnesota, United States
Relationship:
Divorced
Have kids:
Yes, they sometimes live at home (1)
Want kids:
Definitely
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Body type:
About average
Height:
5'9" (175cms)
Faith:
I'll tell you later
Smoke:
No Way
Drink:
Social Drinker

 

ABOUT HIM & WHO HE'S LOOKING FOR

True facts about me... I was born in Antarctica. My parents were shortly thereafter killed by space pirates that visited our planet to harvest ice to power their spaceships. I was taken in and raised by penguins, which explains my preference for ice fishing by diving into the lake through a hole in the ice. Once I turned 12 I left my adoptive family to make my own way in the world. It was difficult to leave them but big birds don't cry.

I swam to Chile and joined a traveling circus as a trapeze artist. We traveled all over South America and my acrobatic skills were soon noticed by the Colombian Special Forces who recruited me to their antidrug task force at 15 years old. Our task force was instrumental in dismantling Pablo Escabar's drug empire. Afterwards I was loaned to the US government and due to my special talents I was used on several top secret missions to the moon by NASA where we established several cheese mining outposts. After my top secret moon cheese mining missions I retired from government work and spent the next 5 years filming the mating habits of earthworms in Europe and Asia which was difficult since... well.. you know, they live underground.

Once I became the worlds foremost expert on earthworm genitalia I decided that I would like to do something more adventurous and moved to New Zealand. I joined an attraction at the Great Barrier Reef and would wrestle great white sharks for tour boats. I did enjoy wrestling the oceans greatest predators but prolonged exposure to the salt water proved to be corrosive to my circuitry (a relic of the time I was abducted by a previously undiscovered terrestrial species who live in the molten magma at the center of the earth and implanted with advanced electromechanical body parts.... but that's a story for another day)

So now I've set roots in MN and am ready to settle down. Currently I'm the Lead Smurf Crusher at a dye factory where we make blue food coloring by crushing smurfs.

So let us talk about you now. Obviously, some level of physical attraction is required between both parties so, yes, I look at at the pictures. I don't really have a type but if you have a third eye in the middle of your head or an extra elbow or something... well that might be a deal killer. I expect you are going to look at the pictures too, be my guest, I put them on here for that reason. It is also probably a good thing if you can laugh at yourself because I'm going to laugh at you and it would just be weird if I'm the only one always laughing. I don't really care what you do for a living or how much you make or don't make so long as you aren't going to constantly complain about either. Complaining is my job. I think that about sums you up; however, if you prefer your toilet paper to go under rather than over then I'm sorry it just isn't going to work out... it's not me, it's you.

Interests:
Camping, Coffee and conversation, Cooking, Dining out, Fishing/Hunting, Movies/Videos, Museums and art, Music and concerts, Exploring new areas, Performing arts, Playing sports, Political interests, Travel/Sightseeing, Watching sports, Wine tasting
Sports & exercise:
Basketball, Bowling, Cycling, Football, Golf, Running, Skiing, Tennis / Racquet sports, Walking / Hiking, Weights / Machines, Yoga, VolleyBall
Exercise habits:
I exercise 5 or more times per week
Pets:
I have Dogs
Pet Essay:

I have a yellow lab named Maya, if she wasn't so cute and adorable I would have murdered her in her sleep long ago.

Political views:
I'll tell you later
Sign:
I don't believe in astrology
College:
I'll tell you later
For fun:

I'm always looking to do something new, repetition breeds boredom. I could spend some time at a indoor gokart track or snowboarding and end the day at the Walker or the Guthrie. Of course, these activities would be more fun with someone to share it

Favorite hot spots:

Kitchens, golf courses, lakes, a soft bed.

Favorite things:

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things!

Last read:

I like big books and I can not lie! Seriously, though, the last couple of books I've read are The Road to Serfdom by F.A. Hayak and The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin and I'm currently reading the Koran.

ABOUT... HIM HIS DATE
APPEARANCE:
Height:
5'9" (175cms)
3'0" (91cms) to 5'9" (175cms)
Body type:
About average
Slender, About average, Athletic and toned
Eyes:
Blue
No preference
Hair:
Light brown
No preference
   
LIFESTYLE:
Smoke:
No Way
No Way, Occasionally
Drink:
Social Drinker
No preference
Occupation:
Self-Employed / Entrepreneur
No preference

Lead Smurf Crusher

Income:
I'll tell you later
No preference
Relationship:
Divorced
No preference
Have kids:
Yes, they sometimes live at home (1)
No answer
Want kids:
Definitely
No preference
   
BACKGROUND/VALUES:
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
No preference

Anatartican... adopted by penguins.

Faith:
I'll tell you later
No preference
Languages:
English
English
Education:
I'll tell you later
No preference

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