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martyfunkhouser

Went on google 2 order some matches, my search brought me here, maybe I'll meet a nice gal but I still need to find a place to buy matches!

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Active within 24 hours

33 year old man
Austin, Texas, United States

Seeking:
women 25-40
Within:
50 Miles of Austin, Texas, United States
Relationship:
Never Married
Have kids:
No
Want kids:
Definitely
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Body type:
Athletic and toned
Height:
5'10" (177cms)
Faith:
Spiritual but not religious
Smoke:
No Way
Drink:
Social Drinker

 

ABOUT HIM & WHO HE'S LOOKING FOR

Dear captivating attractive single female who has a sparkle in her eye..a giddy up in her step and a heart made of gold,
How r u?
Don't answer that!
Not yet..
We have no use for small talk here..
It is cliche..
We desire big talk....
Adult talk..but nothing dirty..
Lets keep it classy for now..
Umm k?
K!
I would tell you my life story..
If you had the time and the affinity..
But the string of various emotions...
That would run rampant in you..
Through you..out of you..
For the world to see..
Will either scurr you away..
Or draw you near..
Like so near that u'd like wanna move in and junk..
And we can't have that..
Not now..too soon!
I mean we haven't even had small talk yet..
Or coffee..
Lemme guess two creams one sugar?
Hmm yes you looked like that type..
That type?
Well u know the type..
That drinks that mixture..that combo..
The type that lights up a room when she enters..
The type that people hate to see go..
But love to watch leave..
Anywayyyyy..
You see ur reaction to my tale..
Would be black and white..
Yes and no..
A flip of a coin..
And i do NOT flip coins..
I save coins..
I put coins in a black plastic piggy bank..
Then i take said coins to the Coinstar machine..
At the local grocery..
And i cash in..
They take like 8 %..
Which is no big deal to me..
As long as they dont take 8 % of my heart..
Cause i dont want to give u 92% of it..
I wanna give u a 100%..
I wanna give you the whole flippin thang..
Ummhmm!
Believe that..
Anyway..
I cash them coins in..
So i can buy things for my sweetie..
Well u know when i have a sweetie..
But i dont have a sweetie now..
So dont worry about said sweetie..
Said sweetie is outta the picture..
Unless you become my sweetie..
Then i'll hafta tell people i have a sweetie..
Well u know.. i would tell em i have a sweetie..
Cause i was a happy to have a sweetie..
Not cause like u'd make me or anything..
I would tell them outta pride..
And happiness and joy..
Pure exuberance..
Would pour outta me..
Like maple syrup..
Pours out of that glass jezabelle..
With the famous moniker..
Mrs. Buttersworth!
And actually..
Syrup could be my nickname..
My pet name..
Cause like syrup..
I am smooth..
Rich..
And sweet..
Ok..
I'm nothing like syrup..
But just like freaking go out with me already..
God!

Interests:
Camping, Coffee and conversation, Business networking, Cooking, Dining out, Fishing/Hunting, Gardening/Landscaping, Movies/Videos, Museums and art, Music and concerts, Exploring new areas, Political interests, Religion/Spiritual, Shopping/Antiques, Travel/Sightseeing, Watching sports, Wine tasting
Sports & exercise:
Baseball, Basketball, Football, Running, Swimming, Walking / Hiking, Weights / Machines, Other types of exercise, Hockey
Exercise habits:
I exercise 3-4 times per week
Pets:
I have Dogs
Pet Essay:

I have 2 dogs, we are pretty cool de la (When you are on friendly terms with another person/animal)
I owe 1 of them $50..i should pay up, I spend half of the day thinking of an excuse why I don't have the $ yet. But I have the $
Honesty = best policy

Political views:
Some other viewpoint
Sign:
Pisces
College:
Savannah College of Art and Design, Savannah, GA
For fun:

I enjoy being creative: painting, writing, building, inventing
Sleeping, reading, learning the secrets of the universe, thinking positively, deflecting negativity,
Working out, bird watching, people watching, watching birds watching people

Favorite hot spots:

I'm not big on hot spots. It's freaking 100 degrees here daily. Wouldn't every spot, in theory be hot then? I much prefer cool spots, air conditioned spots, and shady spots. ;)
Not body spots could be cancerous!
In that case early detection is key

Favorite things:

my favorite shows our Curb your enthusiasm and Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia yup..i ain't lying

Last read:

The last thing I read was a grocery list I made..
Problem is I read it after I went to the grocery..
Turns out I only bought half of the stuff on the list..
The wars of gods and men
The laws of thinking
Bearenstein bears don't talk to strangers

ABOUT... HIM HIS DATE
APPEARANCE:
Height:
5'10" (177cms)
4'11" (149cms) to 5'8" (172cms)
Body type:
Athletic and toned
Slender, Athletic and toned
Eyes:
Brown
No preference
Hair:
Dark brown
No preference
   
LIFESTYLE:
Smoke:
No Way
No Way
Drink:
Social Drinker
No preference
Occupation:
Self-Employed / Entrepreneur
No preference

I am self employed ie my own boss.
I enjoy the sense of freedom it allows me.
The only negative?
My boss tends to be a bit handsy..
You know..
Touchy feely..
It can be more than a lil off putting

Income:
$75,001 to $100,000
No preference
Relationship:
Never Married
No preference
Have kids:
No
No answer
Want kids:
Definitely
No preference
   
BACKGROUND/VALUES:
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
No preference

I am half italian half ukranian..just a lil fun fact for you.

Faith:
Spiritual but not religious
No preference

I wear a cross round my neck everyday...
Promised my mom on her death bed i would..
Just a lil sad fun fact for you.....
I believe we live in a law of attraction universe
The more read the more truth is revealed...
Knowledge is power
And I'm hooked

Languages:
English
English
Education:
Bachelors degree
No preference

I have a bachelors degree its in art. So it's kind of useless, it's like an oxymoron, jumbo shrimp.
Art is creative expression it shouldn't have a label. The whole education system is flawed. If you disagree maybe I can persuade u @ a cool spot ;)

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