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Rev Up Your love Life With These Tips!
bella_ella1983

bella_ella1983

Good luck to you all up here, I'm done!

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Active over 3 weeks ago

31 year old woman
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States

Seeking:
men 30-40
Within:
30 Miles of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States
Relationship:
Never Married
Have kids:
Yes, they live at home (1)
Want kids:
Not sure
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Body type:
Slender
Height:
4'11" (149cms)
Faith:
Christian / Other
Smoke:
No Way
Drink:
Social Drinker

 

ABOUT HER & WHO SHE'S LOOKING FOR

I tried to post a notice here about my account expiring, but apparently this site is not allowing me to do that. So I will simply note that by Christmas 2013, my account here will no longer be active. I found that online dating is not a good idea for me. It promotes burnout and disappointment. Many people who use it - though not all by any means! - are castoffs, marriage material leftovers, and people who are generally not cut out for relationships of any kind (too shy, too dishonest, narcissistic, etc.).

My advice to people who continue to do this is to be honest about your height, weight and current appearance. Don't put down 5'10" if you're 5'6". When your date meets you, they'll notice. Don't use a picture from ten years ago. If it's "all about you," then you can't be about anybody else, meaning you'll never find a relationship. If you're jaded or excessively shy, and you keep flaking on your dates (or you put your beer date with your buddy ahead of meeting a girl) then you also will not find the relationship you're paying good money to search for.

I decided to be honest recently and put down the kind of man I was attracted to, something I learned after many dates. This apparently angered some people, even though I did not insult the kind of people I didn't want. Please, drop the entitlement attitude. Yes, you are paying for a service - but not everyone will want to meet you through it. Accept this. Stop taking rejection so personally, stop screaming about others being "judgmental," and let your actions back your words. Everyone has a right to have preferences, and to turn down what they don't want.

I am going back to meeting people offline, because at least I don't have to wonder if they look like their pictures. And they aren't nearly as nervous, socially awkward, desperate or jaded as the men I've met online.

If you insist on dating online, please remember that it's not a natural way to meet people. That's why so many people flake out on dates. It's discomforting. It's intimidating. And again, it's just not natural. We'll never get used to it.

I also advise messaging one person at a time up here, so you can focus on them. Don't buy into the "meat market mentality." It's self-defeating.

I tried other dating services (stay away from OkCupid). Match seems to be the best of the lot. Good luck to all of you still up here. You're going to need it.

Interests:
Coffee and conversation, Dining out, Movies/Videos, Exploring new areas, Performing arts, Watching sports
Sports & exercise:
Aerobics, Dancing, Swimming
Exercise habits:
I exercise 3-4 times per week
Pets:
I have Cats, Fish
Pet Essay:

Ask me and I'll tell you!

Political views:
Middle of the Road
Sign:
I'll tell you later
College:
I'll tell you later
Favorite hot spots:

anywhere in Old City or Rittenhouse/Center City

Favorite things:

The arts all the way. Especially the performing arts. Been to an orchestra performance recently and I loved it!

Last read:

Clifford's Big Red Easter - For my daughter! Honest. Not for me.

ABOUT... HER HER DATE
APPEARANCE:
Height:
4'11" (149cms)
5'8" (172cms) to 8'11" (271cms)
Body type:
Slender
About average, Athletic and toned, A few extra pounds
Eyes:
Brown
No preference
Hair:
Blonde
No preference
   
LIFESTYLE:
Smoke:
No Way
No Way
Drink:
Social Drinker
Social Drinker
Occupation:
Other profession
No preference

I'm a bartender. I love the hospitality industry and am very much a people person.

Income:
I'll tell you later
No preference
Relationship:
Never Married
Never Married, Widow / Widower, Divorced
Have kids:
Yes, they live at home (1)
Yes, and they sometimes live at home, Yes, and they live away from home
Want kids:
Not sure
Someday, Not sure
   
BACKGROUND/VALUES:
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
No preference

I'm a little bit of everything: German, Italian, French and Hungarian.

Faith:
Christian / Other
Christian / Catholic, Christian / LDS, Christian / Protestant, Hindu, Jewish, Muslim / Islam, Spiritual but not religious, Christian / Other

I have my own set of beliefs. I was raised Catholic; I'm of the opinion that organized religion is useful to most people, but not all.

Languages:
English
English
Education:
Some college
No preference

Ask me and I'll tell you!

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