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Woodlands_Comic

I hate the Jared jewelry theme song

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Active within 3 days

40 year old man
The Woodlands, Texas, United States

Seeking:
women 28-36
Within:
75 Miles of Spring, Texas, United States
Relationship:
Never Married
Have kids:
No
Want kids:
Definitely
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Body type:
Athletic and toned
Height:
5'10" (177cms)
Faith:
Christian / Protestant
Smoke:
No Way
Drink:
Social Drinker

 

ABOUT HIM & WHO HE'S LOOKING FOR

Yes, I am passionate about Star Wars action figures. No, I do not care if you are embarrassed if I bring them on our date. I admit that I get a little loud with the sound effects when I pit them in mortal battle at Denny's. In fact, when I play with my MINT- CONDITION 1983 Chewbacca figure, I'm known to let out the bitchinest RRRRRRGGGGGHHHH you have ever heard, baby. I know that it's intimidating to people who aren't in tune with the force, but the reason I joined Match was to find my Princess Leah. RRRRRGGGGHHHH! Sorry, that one just slipped out. What were we talking about? Oh yes, getting this romance started.

To be perfectly honest, unlike my competitors on this site who claim to be "laid-back and easy-going", I am freakishly uptight. Just this afternoon, I told my 18 year-old waiter I wanted ranch on my garden salad and this arrogant fool had the nerve to bring me honey mustard! Yes, he wheeled himself out of the restaurant with honey mustard dripping from his face. No, I do not think that I "over-reacted" as the management and police assert. I demand proper service at Chuck E Cheese no matter how many children's birthday parties are ruined in the process. I thought this was America! Young people today seem to think that simply being in a wheelchair entitles you to cause chaos in other people's lives due to your forgetfulness. I assure you that it does not. 18 is too young to have Alzheimers, chief. Now roll over to your manager before I UTTERLY SLATHER both of you in honey mustard. THIS IS AMERICA and my Yelp review of your establishment will be unpleasant to say the least! Who cares if I was cheating at Skeeball?

In conclusion, we should date IF you have great taste in action figures, are SUPER UPTIGHT and have little compassion for waiters in wheelchairs who can't even remember which salad dressing you ordered LIKE FIVE MINUTES AGO. Bonus points if you think that Chuck E Cheese managers should be more receptive to criticism on their hiring practices.

Ok, enough joking. In reality, I am extremely polite to waiters. I like women with a very good sense of humor and have enough intelligence to understand satire and sarcasm. Let's giggle ourselves to death. We'll work the details out later.

Interests:
Cooking, Dining out, Movies/Videos, Museums and art, Music and concerts, Exploring new areas, Nightclubs/Dancing, Playing sports, Travel/Sightseeing, Video games, Volunteering, Watching sports, Wine tasting
Sports & exercise:
Baseball, Basketball, Bowling, Football, Running, Skiing, Swimming, Tennis / Racquet sports, Weights / Machines, Other types of exercise, VolleyBall
Exercise habits:
I exercise 5 or more times per week
Pets:
Political views:
Middle of the Road
Sign:
Gemini
College:
The University of Texas at Austin, Austin, TX
For fun:

Stalking is my primary form of entertainment. I literally can't stop thinking about it and it occupies the vast majority of my time.

Favorite hot spots:

Methadone clinics. Let's be honest.

Favorite things:

Valtrex is pretty much the reason I am able to have a normal life after my disastrous Bangkok vacation.

Last read:

10 Simple Ways to Ruin Your Online Dating Profile with Excessive Wackiness.

ABOUT... HIM HIS DATE
APPEARANCE:
Height:
5'10" (177cms)
5'2" (157cms) to 5'9" (175cms)
Body type:
Athletic and toned
Slender, About average, Curvy, Athletic and toned
Eyes:
Brown
No preference
Hair:
Dark brown
Auburn / Red, Black, Light brown, Dark brown, Blonde, Dark blonde, Platinum
   
LIFESTYLE:
Smoke:
No Way
No Way
Drink:
Social Drinker
Social Drinker, Moderately
Occupation:
Financial / Accounting / Real Estate
Administrative / Secretarial, Artistic / Creative / Performance, Executive / Management, Financial / Accounting / Real Estate, Legal, Medical / Dental / Veterinary / Fitness, Sales / Marketing, Self-Employed / Entrepreneur, Student, Education / Teacher / Professor, Technical / Science / Computers / Engineering, Travel / Hospitality / Transportation, Other profession, Nonprofit / Volunteer / Activist, Fashion / Model / Beauty, Architecture / Interior design

I'm a medical research guinea pig.

Income:
$150,001+
Less Than $25,000, $25,001 to $35,000, $35,001 to $50,000, $50,001 to $75,000, $75,001 to $100,000, $100,001 to $150,000, $150,001+
Relationship:
Never Married
Never Married, Widow / Widower, Divorced
Have kids:
No
No answer
Want kids:
Definitely
Definitely, Someday
   
BACKGROUND/VALUES:
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Latino / Hispanic, White / Caucasian

WASP with gluteal deficiency syndrome. GDS is a serious disease affecting millions of Americans with English ancestry. I'd appreciate it if you would keep your snickering to yourself. I do squats but it's not an instantaneous process.

Faith:
Christian / Protestant
Christian / Catholic, Christian / LDS, Christian / Protestant, Spiritual but not religious, Christian / Other

I was recently kicked out of Al Qaeda for being too hardcore.

Languages:
English, French, German, Spanish
English
Education:
Bachelors degree
High school, Some college, Associates degree, Bachelors degree, Graduate degree, PhD / Post Doctoral

I went to UT and a few defensive driving schools..

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