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Rev Up Your love Life With These Tips!

TheCynicRomantic

Cynic Romantic; less pretentious than it sounds, I promise.

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Active over 3 weeks ago

27 year old man
Seattle, Washington, United States

Seeking:
women 21-28
Within:
15 Miles of Seattle, Washington, United States
Relationship:
Never Married
Have kids:
No
Want kids:
Probably not
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Body type:
Athletic and toned
Height:
5'9" (175cms)
Faith:
Agnostic
Smoke:
No Way
Drink:
Regularly

 

ABOUT HIM & WHO HE'S LOOKING FOR

I'm *army of boring adjectives here*, you're *not awful*, blah blah blah.

I like whiskey, sarcasm, and women. Must have: a brain, a spine, a personality, and the patience to put up with my nonsense. Those who cannot detect sarcasm need not apply.

I'm a writer, so consider yourself warned.

I'm Nick. I've done the freewheeling bachelor thing for a while now, and it's just not as much fun as it was when I was nineteen. Sex is great, and I'm still a fan, but I've hit a point in my life where connection is more important. Mind you, I'm not really interested in anybody who's only good for one or the other, so both the "just here for easy hookups" and "no sex before marriage" crowds can probably go click on someone else now. Also, if your profile is completely indistinguishable from every other girl's profile on here, meaning that you're family oriented and outgoing and laid back and easygoing and your other favorite vague adjective that describes most of the planet? Outdoorsy? Looking for a partner in crime? I don't give a damn, get back to the assembly line from whence you came, she-bot, and leave me alone. You're scaring off the girls with personalities.

That last sentence makes me realize I should point out that I'm nowhere near as cantankerous in person. I'm just wary of the online dating thing and my wonderful writerly subconscious is doing its level best to self-sabotage me in advance; rejection is theoretically good fuel, right? Well, rejection and whiskey. But then one begets the other, doesn't it? Anyways, there are times when I'm not sarcastic and hostile, I promise.

Things I am not looking for: Marriage (don't believe in it, feel free to ask me why), kids (don't believe in them, because they're awful), new friends (I don't see my current friends as much as I'd like to), meaningless sex (if you need the internet to get laid, you're doing it wrong).

I am looking for: smart, driven creative women who, while I'm being self-sabotagingly honest here, are also good looking. No offense to anybody who isn't, but I've learned the hard way that trying to force myself to be attracted to someone I'm not naturally attracted to ends poorly for everyone involved. Beyond that, big bones points to ladies with acerbic wit, great taste, and/or sexy voices. As for all you world-saver, soul full of compassion types; I think you're great, and I'm open to meeting you, but I warn you in advance: my sense of humor is supervillain dark, and the odds of me offending you are very, very high. On a related note of warning, I don't like kids and they don't much care for me. Pets are pretty great, though.

Random things I'm unusually passionate about: The Phoenix Suns, Humphrey Bogart, writing, Joss Stone, Lawrence Durrell, Greg Dulli, Sean Connery, James Bond (who is only Sean Connery and maybe Pierce Brosnan but just that one time), Frisky Dingo, Film Noir.

Random things most people like that I don't: Harry Potter, Kanye, The LA Lakers, Adele, kids, Kanye. I'm aware I mentioned Kanye twice; his death shall be slow and will involve creative and unpleasant use of a cheese grater, and this online dating profile shall be the key piece of evidence that dooms me to a life behind bars after committing an otherwise perfect and entirely justifiable murder.

Interests:
I'll tell you later
Sports & exercise:
Basketball, Skiing, Weights / Machines, Yoga, Other types of exercise
Exercise habits:
I exercise 3-4 times per week
Pets:
I have Cats
Political views:
Liberal
Sign:
Virgo
College:
I'll tell you later
For fun:

Writing, drinking, sports, movies, TV binges, reading, concerts, other boring normal stuff, nerdy stuff, and any of the above with beautiful company.

Favorite hot spots:

Food: Taste of India, Pinto Bistro, Japonessa, Georgio's, Other Coast, Honey Hole, Machiavelli, Salvatore's, Shangai Gardens, El Gaucho

Bars: Mars Bar, The Ballard Loft, Brouwer's, The Twilight Exit, Black Bottle

Favorite things:

Books: Lawrence Durrell, Raymond Chandler, Mikhail Bulgakov

Movies: Casablanca, Gilda, A Life Less Ordinary, anything Connery or Bogart

TV: Archer, Frisky Dingo, Chuck, Veronica Mars

Last read:

Currently reading "Monsieur" by Lawrence Durrell. It's awesome.

ABOUT... HIM HIS DATE
APPEARANCE:
Height:
5'9" (175cms)
4'10" (147cms) to 7'11" (241cms)
Body type:
Athletic and toned
Slender, About average, Curvy, Athletic and toned, Full-figured
Eyes:
Brown
No preference
Hair:
Dark brown
No preference
   
LIFESTYLE:
Smoke:
No Way
No preference
Drink:
Regularly
Social Drinker, Regularly, Moderately
Occupation:
Artistic / Creative / Performance
No preference

Writer (and waiter when I have to be)

Income:
$50,001 to $75,000
No preference
Relationship:
Never Married
No preference
Have kids:
No
No
Want kids:
Probably not
Not sure, Probably not, No, No, but it's OK if my partner has kids
   
BACKGROUND/VALUES:
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
No preference
Faith:
Agnostic
Agnostic, Atheist, Buddhist / Taoist, Hindu, Jewish, Spiritual but not religious, Other
Languages:
English
English
Education:
Bachelors degree
Some college, Associates degree, Bachelors degree, Graduate degree, PhD / Post Doctoral

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