I was unaware this was a job interview....
Don't ask me to play monopoly - it wont happen.
I start every single morning with a breakfast of iron.Then I go to my computer and delete every single piece of fan mail I have received within the night without even bothering to read them. The amount of daily fan mail is measured in googolplexes. About 90% of the European population have my name tattooed somewhere on their skin. I have my own private jet and I use 100 dollar bills as my toilet paper. I’m all awkward moments, boring dinners, and popped collars. Try new things? Not gonna! Just give me white bread and a glass of water for dippin’. I avoid excitement and the unknown. Make decisions? No way.
Witty banter, sarcasm? What’s that?
Enough about me…[You should message me if]...
Look in the mirror…Ears - check. Eyes - check. Nose - check. Mouth - check. Chin - check. All fingers and toes – check. The majority of your teeth (like 99%)….
your current interests include, but are probably limited to: fun, laughing, traveling, food, water, cardboard, chap stick, and your miniature plastic sword collection.
You don't take yourself seriously.
If you like to break the rules that don't really even exist in the first place.
If you own a Be-dazzler. Just kidding.
If you're not contagious. Not kidding.
If you're sarcastic and snarky.
Being illiterate in the written form of your native tongue is a deal breaker. I cannot stress this enough.
If you're still reading this, you don't have ADD. (Oh look…a squirrel)