It is never a compliment when someone says to you: "You are such a great person, I don't understand why you are still single". The person may have good intentions. It is similar to someone saying after a loved one has died, Oh I am sorry to hear that how did it happen or you must miss that person a lot. Most people don't know how to handle these type of conversations. People are only comfortable with asking the How are you doing question, if the other person responds good, how are you and goes along their way. If you changed how you answer a that question to actually I am having a really bad day and here is why, 9 out of 10 people probably wouldn't know how to respond because they weren't expecting that response.
Granted I am the type of person that will say I am fine in a passing conversation with a co-worker for instance; but I am looking for that quality in someone that can read other people well. This person typically isn't afraid to challenge, debate or ask the hard questions. I admire that in a person. I am an introvert, which means I do not get energy from a large group of people or from people who are having surface level conversations. Give me the choice of going out with a group of 10 people or 1 close friend and I will always pick the close friend.
This intrinsic value may be why friends and family are so incredibly important to me. I have been told I am a great friend. I will drop anything for a friend. I am loyal and committed to those relationships. Quality time is also very important to me. I would rather go on a vacation to see a friend than go somewhere just to see the tourist attractions. Currently I spend a lot of my free time (Weekends and Holidays) traveling to see family and friends. I have always said that a relationship is not one that can sustain the challenges of life if it forces you to break the bonds of another friendship. I fully expect that with whoever I date, that we will have time that we are not always together, but each of us is still maintaining those other friendships.
I believe relationships can make or break someone. We were wired to yearn for relationships with others. I volunteer with my church's student ministry. This ministry is a very relational ministry, we as volunteers are asked not just to show up and chaperone the students but to build lasting relationships with them that will mold them and develop them. Research shows that the more relationships a student has with positive adult figures, the more likely the faith will stick and become their own.
The funny thing is, I never thought I would be an advocate for relationships. I resisted letting people get to know me in high school and college. The biggest life lesson, I learned in college is that we all need relationships and that they are the most important component for whatever we do in life. I work in higher education, which is a very people oriented field. Nothing gets accomplished by one individual and education by it's nature is about shaping and forming people not just earning a degree. Education is important because of the transformation that takes place. I also believe that learning should never have an end.
I am looking for someone who values family and friendships. Ideally this person would be someone who has similar priorities to mine. The person would be looking for opportunities to challenge me intellectually, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I find a lot of times on the weekends that I would like to be out and about in the city or outside being active but I am hesitant to do so on my own. Part of what I desire is a companion to explore and try new things with. I am looking for someone who has as much passion as I do for volunteering and serving others as well as someone who is dedicated to a cause and is a hard worker.
I look forward to hearing from you!