Well, here's a little about me...I am jealous, possessive, neurotic and I am a bit of a control freak. I love changing dirty diapers, dwelling on my past relationships, the smell of cat pee, waiting in long lines at Walmart, Houston traffic at 5:00 p.m., root canals, stepping , raunchy farts, pants that are too tight and shoes that don't fit. You can say my life is routine, boring, drab and mundane. I love spending 14 hours a day in high heels at work, then coming home to clean house, do laundry and cook dinner for you. (in those same high heels!) I reek of cigarettes and on special occasions I put in my false teeth. I am most proud of being broke all the time, not owning a car, having once lived under the bridge at Buffalo Bayou, not having a college education, and that my family tree does not fork! I love to stroke your ego by telling you my Uncle Daddy is nowhere near as good as you!
My idea of a typical romantic dinner would be for you to take me to the local Stop-N-Go for a Slurpee and a bag of chips or hot dog. On special events I like to dine at the local Chicken & Waffles House and then attend a WWE event. Nothing like a family reunion to view your competition. For entertainment, I like to stay home locked in the basement while you beat and torture me. I love to tend to your every whim and limit my social interactions only to family functions. No dancing, drinking or debauchery here!!
I would love to meet a Neanderthal man that is combative, controlling, abusive, and is still closely attached to his mothers breast. The more pessimistic and lazy you are the more attractive you become. Also, the less driven and lack of personality you have the better. I just love a man who can't make quick decisions, think for himself or provide for his family. A BIG bonus for my prospective mate is, that he must be shorter than me, have a few missing teeth, a rattley eye and is old enough for me to call him dad. Also, if you look like an axe murderer...mmm...SEXY!! Oh and how can I forget...the more geographically UNDESIRABLE you are, the better.
If this sounds like you or even close to what you are looking for, please, for the love of GOD, Do NOT, under any circumstance contact me!!
If you want the truth as to who I am and what I am looking for, I will give it, just ask and you shall receive. :) I hope you your day is GREAT!!! :)