Trying to describe myself in a box is more difficult than keeping Lindsay Lohan away from a line of coke, i.e. impossible but since I have to put something down here this is my best take. I am sarcastic, funny, witty, opinionated, independent, laid back, loyal, spontaneous, mysterious (so I have been told), a hopeless romantic, and at times too much of a genius to understand the words coming out of my mouth but in a nutshell I am probably in the 1% of guys in Vegas since I don't bedazzle myself with Ed Hardy, fake tans and worship the club DJ's like they are descendants of Ra.
I have an aversion to white nebulous condiments so that means you mayo, sour cream, and ranch. Even more terrifying are Garden Gnomes. I keep thinking that maybe they are a clandestine society that comes alive at night to fight the trolls that try to steal your breath when your sleeping. If that's the case then I am sorry to all the Gnomes that I tragically took their lives by smashing them with a rock. ET is kind of creepy as well but Snookie takes the cake. My travel bucket list includes in no particular order Socotra, Lake Plitvice, Cappadocia Turkey, Santorini, Maldives, and Antarctica...Yes Antarctica.
I have been known when drinking to draw to treasure maps and slide them under my former roommates doors. I am a Game of Thrones nerd and if I had a wish besides World Peace it would be to have some pet dragons. I'd also like to own a pet Dire Wolf but lets not get too greedy here. I think Beirut is the best band no one has ever heard. My hair is like the weather, it changes from day to day. I once was beaten by a computer at a game of chess but it was no match in a game of kickboxing. Ever give a midget a massage? I have. $23. I can be bought. If the price is right. I am practicing being a vegetarian not because its healthy but because I really hate plants. They are secretly plotting against you.
Namaste.
