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D_E_Fresh

Theguyabovemehastheclap per in his bedroom

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Active over 3 weeks ago

36 year old man
Denver, Colorado, United States

Seeking:
women 24-40
Within:
50 Miles of Denver, Colorado, United States
Relationship:
Divorced
Have kids:
No
Want kids:
Someday
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Body type:
Athletic and toned
Height:
5'9" (175cms)
Faith:
Christian / Protestant
Smoke:
No Way
Drink:
Never

 

ABOUT HIM & WHO HE'S LOOKING FOR

I hate work and dislike leaving the couch. I earn a living by selling other people's valuables without their knowledge. I make a little on the side teaching children poker and purchasing booze for teens. They seem to enjoy it and its a growth industry. I donate all the proceeds to myself so its tax free. I blow it all on porn and glue anyway.

My therapist told me I am no longer a danger to myself or others and I am allowed human contact again. She meant only for school and work, but online dating was my idea. I'm creepy and enjoy getting high on banana scented markers and bourbon while I stalk profiles from my basement or the bushes. I enjoy typical guy things I guess. Being fed and cleaned up after. Throwing laundry in the basket and lighting it on fire if its still there in two days. I'm pretty manly as well. I can do over a hundred push ups and I used to own a set of tools. I like time alone with my Legos, Haikus, and coloring books. You should probably avoid me during my alone time unless I need to be fed, or if you want to have a meatball fight. I enjoy throwing things, especially meat.

I love the idea of volunteering an donating to charity so you can volunteer for the Purina Pet Project and donate to animal shelters whenever you can. Just put my name down. I prefer we help animals rather than humans because the human I snuck home from the homeless shelter drank all my beer and stole all my psycho-actives.. Now I'm bitter. Animals don't steal my stuff.

MY IDEAL BOO: You should make at least enough to cover my gambling debts, support my love of mind altering substances, and still have a few sheckels left over for bills and such. If you don't make enough I am happy to make amateur videos to supplement our income. Passion is the key to any relationship and I have none so you must bring a passion for cooking, cleaning, and laundry because I need to eat, I don't clean, and you already know about the laundry. If I'm passed out just check for a pulse, clean around my lifeless body, and try not to tickle me with the feather duster. I never listen, I always make things worse, use all the hot water and I don't believe in toilet seats. I feel like hovering is a good leg workout.

I don't do dates, dancing or anything romantic but bringing me take out is encouraged. You may also take me on vacations twice per year provided I have a first class ticket. (I suggest clipping coupons). Also, unless you own two cars, I have a bus schedule so you are able to go work. That way, I can have the car. I have an umbrella somewhere in case its raining.

If caring for a man-baby intrigues you, then please, make me a sandwich and email it to me. Its quite alright if you don't possess the qualities I've described. I'll settle for someone willing to cut the ends off my pickles for me. Talk to you soon.

Interests:
Alumni connections, Camping, Business networking, Cooking, Dining out, Movies/Videos, Music and concerts, Exploring new areas, Nightclubs/Dancing, Performing arts, Playing sports, Political interests, Travel/Sightseeing, Volunteering, Watching sports
Sports & exercise:
Baseball, Billiards / Pool, Bowling, Football, Golf, Skiing, Swimming, Walking / Hiking, Weights / Machines, Hockey, VolleyBall
Exercise habits:
I exercise 3-4 times per week
Pets:
I have Cats, Dogs
Pet Essay:

I have A cat and A dog. Horses are cool I guess. I don't want one or anything I love going to Del Mar to bet on them.

Political views:
Conservative
Sign:
Don't display my sign
College:
Colorado School of Mines, Golden, CO
For fun:

Baseball games hiking concerts dining happy hour jazz skiing. Just ask.

Favorite hot spots:

Vegas, San Diego, Scottsdale, Telluride, Steamboat.

Favorite things:

Food and candy. I like classic rock and rap when it used to be good.

Last read:

Yeah.....expecting great conversation with these. Engineering Fluid Mechanics. Properties of Petroleum Fluids and Petroleum Geostatistics. If any woman wants to talk about these they should be checked into the nearest mental health facility.

ABOUT... HIM HIS DATE
APPEARANCE:
Height:
5'9" (175cms)
5'2" (157cms) to 5'11" (180cms)
Body type:
Athletic and toned
About average, Curvy, Athletic and toned, A few extra pounds
Eyes:
Brown
Black, Blue, Brown, Grey, Green, Hazel
Hair:
Dark brown
Auburn / Red, Black, Light brown, Dark brown, Blonde, Dark blonde, Platinum
   
LIFESTYLE:
Smoke:
No Way
No Way, Occasionally, Daily, Cigar aficionado, Yes, but trying to quit
Drink:
Never
Never, Social Drinker, Moderately
Occupation:
Student
Administrative / Secretarial, Artistic / Creative / Performance, Executive / Management, Financial / Accounting / Real Estate, Labor / Construction, Legal, Medical / Dental / Veterinary / Fitness, Political / Govt / Civil Service / Military, Retail / Food services, Retired, Sales / Marketing, Self-Employed / Entrepreneur, Student, Education / Teacher / Professor, Technical / Science / Computers / Engineering, Travel / Hospitality / Transportation, Other profession, Nonprofit / Volunteer / Activist, Law enforcement / Security / Military, Fashion / Model / Beauty, Architecture / Interior design
Income:
$35,001 to $50,000
$25,001 to $35,000, $35,001 to $50,000, $50,001 to $75,000, $75,001 to $100,000, $100,001 to $150,000, $150,001+
Relationship:
Divorced
Never Married, Widow / Widower, Currently Separated, Divorced
Have kids:
No
No
Want kids:
Someday
Someday, Not sure
   
BACKGROUND/VALUES:
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Asian, Black / African descent, Latino / Hispanic, Pacific Islander, White / Caucasian

Mutt. My ancestors were Hungarian pimps, Scottish prostitutes, English dentists(ohh the irony), Irish lucky charms farmers, and German porn peddlers. I think I'm an eighth Jewish so I'm allowed to make fun of all white people, which is nice.

Faith:
Christian / Protestant
Agnostic, Atheist, Buddhist / Taoist, Christian / Catholic, Christian / Protestant, Hindu, Jewish, Spiritual but not religious, Other, Christian / Other
Languages:
English
English
Education:
Some college
High school, Some college, Associates degree, Bachelors degree, Graduate degree, PhD / Post Doctoral

Finishing B.S. in P.E.

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