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unruhe29

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Active within 3 days

44 year old woman
Oceanside, Oregon, United States

Seeking:
men 38-48
Within:
50 Miles of Elkridge, Maryland, United States
Relationship:
Divorced
Have kids:
Yes, they live at home (1)
Want kids:
No, but it's OK if my partner has kids
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Body type:
Curvy
Height:
5'8" (172cms)
Faith:
Spiritual but not religious
Smoke:
No Way
Drink:
Social Drinker

 

ABOUT HER & WHO SHE'S LOOKING FOR

Well, I've been on here for awhile, and really haven't had much luck, so I've decided not to continue my membership for now. I am not a Nigerian scammer, or someone from a third world country looking for an American husband - I'm just tired of throwing away money that could be better spent on something useful...like batteries. Or chocolate.

I am, however, still looking for my match. If you're clever, there are ways to reach me, especially if you check out my "Last Read" section. (And if you are truly my match, you *will* be clever. Smart is sexy!) OH YEAH - and if you know how to do an image search, do that with my main profile pic - the headshot of me in the blue shirt....

ALERT ** ALERT ** ALERT : I've just moved to Oregon!

ABOUT ME:
I need to get laid.

There. Do I have your attention? Great!

Now, before you get too excited, this is in no way an invitation for every testosterone-laden, knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing Neanderthal within a 50 mile radius to send me pictures of his engorged member. I am not some brainless bimbo unworthy of your respect and courtesy. I am not easy. Most importantly, I’m not *just* looking to get laid.

I want the whole shebang. (Yes, the word “bang” is in there. Calm down.)

I want a man who will be the Mulder to my Scully…the Rick to my Lori…the Brad to my Angelina…the Christian to my Anastasia…the Kermit to my Miss Piggy…the Fred to my Wilma (holy crap, who knew her maiden name was Slaghoople???!!!???)…the Bert to my Ernie…um…I mean the Ernie to my Bert…ok, that last one doesn’t work, but anyway, I’m sure you get the idea. I want it all. Love, trust, honesty, respect, friendship, and frequent hot, sweaty, in-the-middle-of-the-living-room-floor-because-you-just-can’t-wait-until-you-get-to-the-bedroom sex.

What? Yes, of course all with the same person. Geez.

Now, I’m not an idiot. I realize that these things don’t happen overnight, and you have to kiss a few frogs before you find that proverbial prince. Don’t be afraid that I’m going to have towels monogrammed with our initials just because we have one great first date. That being said, however, if you aren’t at least open to and interested in finding that kind of a relationship with someone, thanks for stopping by, have a great day, click on over to the next profile.

If what I described above *does* sound good to you, by all means, read on.

I am a sarcastic smart-ass (are they the same thing?) 98.9% of the time. (If you do not like/get/appreciate sarcasm, you will want to strangle me within 20 minutes of meeting me. Since I would prefer non-strangulation, it’s probably best that you click the “back” button now.) I’m a little bit of a grammar/spelling nazi, so if you email or IM me and say something like, “Hi, how ru? Ur hot” I will probably ignore you. Unless I think you’re really hot, and then I might be willing to overlook your illiteracy, but if that’s the case, by God you’d better have nice teeth and all of your hair…or nice hair and all of your teeth.

I’m rarely serious (if you haven’t figured that out by now, we have a problem…) and can find humor in almost any situation. I don’t do drama or games, and don’t have any crazy exes hanging around. If I don’t feel like you’re truly interested in getting to know more about me than my bra size, I will lose interest quickly. I will not chase after anyone who is not chasing after me, too.

About you:
You’re taller than me, have an athletic build (yes, I’m a hypocrite – I’m not going to apologize for liking what I like! But in my defense - I'm working on it! Lost 30 pounds so far, and I'm not done yet! I'd love a workout buddy!), and are clean-shaven. You’re smart, SINGLE, sexy as hell, and a bit of a smart-ass yourself. You don't smoke, and you DON'T DO DRUGS.

Witty banter is what it’s all about – and if you’ve got it, I’ll be putty in your hands. You’re confident without being arrogant, direct without being pushy, and - you read this whole thing!

Interests:
Camping, Coffee and conversation, Dining out, Hobbies and crafts, Movies/Videos, Museums and art, Music and concerts, Exploring new areas, Nightclubs/Dancing, Playing cards, Travel/Sightseeing, Video games, Volunteering, Wine tasting
Sports & exercise:
Billiards / Pool, Bowling, Swimming, Walking / Hiking, Weights / Machines
Exercise habits:
I exercise 5 or more times per week
Pets:
I have Cats
Pet Essay:

I have 2 cats, and the only reason I have 2 of them is that they are sisters and I was guilt-tripped into taking both of them by my own evil sister. I am NOT like that crazy cat-lady youtube girl. I swear.

Political views:
Some other viewpoint
Sign:
Capricorn
College:
University of Maryland, College Park, College Park, MD
For fun:

I enjoy camping, bowling, playing pool, mini-golf, music, the beach, going to the movies, museums, exploring new places, traveling... Joined a gym last year, and I try to go 3-5 times a week. I'd love to have a workout buddy.

Favorite hot spots:

The family has a condo in Cape Canaveral, FL, and I like to try to get down there a few times a year. (So if you Florida boys see me checking out your profiles, that's why! Give me a reason to finally move down there! lol)

Favorite things:

In no particular order: cadbury mini eggs, caffeine-free diet Dr. Pepper, my DVR, sudoku, my kindle, the Walking Dead, rollercoasters, kissing (if it's being done right!), Reese's peanut butter cups, music, the ocean, strawberry daiquiris, laughing.

Last read:

I like to read. A lot. Just take my name from up at the top and follow it with: do tword press do tc om (without so much space in between!) and you will find a way to send me something to read!

ABOUT... HER HER DATE
APPEARANCE:
Height:
5'8" (172cms)
5'10" (177cms) to 6'5" (195cms)
Body type:
Curvy
Slender, About average, Athletic and toned
Eyes:
Green
Black, Blue, Brown, Grey, Green, Hazel
Hair:
Dark blonde
Black, Light brown, Dark brown, Blonde, Dark blonde
   
LIFESTYLE:
Smoke:
No Way
No Way
Drink:
Social Drinker
Never, Social Drinker
Occupation:
Administrative / Secretarial
Administrative / Secretarial, Artistic / Creative / Performance, Executive / Management, Financial / Accounting / Real Estate, Labor / Construction, Legal, Medical / Dental / Veterinary / Fitness, Political / Govt / Civil Service / Military, Retail / Food services, Retired, Sales / Marketing, Self-Employed / Entrepreneur, Education / Teacher / Professor, Technical / Science / Computers / Engineering, Travel / Hospitality / Transportation, Other profession, Nonprofit / Volunteer / Activist, Law enforcement / Security / Military, Fashion / Model / Beauty, Architecture / Interior design

I am the Registrar at a Baltimore area college.

Income:
$50,001 to $75,000
$50,001 to $75,000, $75,001 to $100,000, $100,001 to $150,000, $150,001+
Relationship:
Divorced
Never Married, Widow / Widower, Divorced
Have kids:
Yes, they live at home (1)
Yes, and they sometimes live at home, No, Yes, and they live away from home, Yes, and they live at home
Want kids:
No, but it's OK if my partner has kids
Not sure, Probably not, No, No, but it's OK if my partner has kids
   
BACKGROUND/VALUES:
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
White / Caucasian
Faith:
Spiritual but not religious
Agnostic, Atheist, Buddhist / Taoist, Christian / Catholic, Christian / Protestant, Jewish, Spiritual but not religious, Other, Christian / Other

I recently visited the Vatican, and it didn't burst into flames, so that's something, right?

Languages:
English
English
Education:
Some college
Some college, Associates degree, Bachelors degree, Graduate degree, PhD / Post Doctoral

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