Here is where I am supposed to describe myself so total strangers can evaluate and judge me -- I can hardly contain myself. Sarcasm intended, and if it isn't obvious to whoever is reading this I suggest stopping now because you likely have the personality piece of driftwood. And that's being generous.
I would like to think that I am not a very complicated person but after reflecting on what to write here I have discovered that I am train wreck. Damn these profiles! Instead of sitting here and writing a really long and boring story about my life I decided to just give you a bunch of random facts about me with a creative twist.
Am I the only one that feels as though this is a job interview and I'm applying for a position that I'm under qualified to receive? That's sure as [expletive] not going to stop me from trying though. I think I just broke interview mistake number 1 by admitting I was less than qualified, but whatever. I think I broke about every single interview 'rule' to get the job I have now and it worked out well for me -- why stop now?
Mission statement: I'm 'applying' to meet an attractive, fit, fun, and feisty female. If she is out of my league, I can deal. Hopefully she can too.
Qualifications:
Years of experience: 31
Occupation: Scientific Consultant in Biotech. Yes, I'm like, super smart...
Cologne: Aqua de Gio or Sex Panther
Achievements:
-Parents love me but it’s their daughters that are the issue
-I can roll my tongue but can’t cross my eyes but I wish it were the other way around. That's right.
-I can hold my breath for 15 minutes. Special ability? I think yes. Don't get excited ladies, I'm of course being figurative.
-I watch a movie before bed just about every night. I can nail just about any movie quote. Proving once and for all that I know everything about nothing.
-One time I fell down a flight of stairs in the middle of a lecture center while coming in late to a class in college. People applauded my efforts.
-Having a beer gut scare the living heck out of me (reasons unknown, yet obvious) and it is my life goal to never ever have one.
-I'm fairly well traveled and I'm currently accepting offers for those ladies who would like to receive the 'companion pass' on my usual airline. I can only pick one winner and you are stuck with it for the entire year. Sorry returns are not accepted.
Resume time is over because I'm bored of writing this now...In all seriousness I am a driven guy with lots of good things going on in his life. I have been told over and over that I am a keeper. While I am funny and kind of a smart ass I still have goals, which I have worked really hard to achieve and will continue to do so. I hope to find someone that I have chemistry with and that wants to share in my life or that wants to dress me up as a cop and have me “arrest her”. (Either one works for me.)
