New profile, updated 4/2/13. If you don't like this one, email me and I'll send you the other one. If you don't like the other one, well, you're S.O.L.
Me:
- I have never tried drugs of any kind (except alcohol).
- I floss every single night -- unless I get drunk, in which case I go straight to bed (which is really gross, and I don't do it often).
- Animals are not allowed on the furniture. Yes, I am a vet. Yes, I have pets. Yes, I love them very much. But they belong on the floor.
- I love music. I will listen to music for hours on end, picking apart each musical instrument or each voice, sometimes humming the melody, other times the harmony.
- Family is extremely important. We have awesome family reunions. My grandparents have been married for 70 years.
- I always use proper grammar.
- Born in Phoenix, raised in Kentucky, got my doctorate in Alabama, live in South Bay area.
- I do not have an accent (see above).
- I can tolerate country accents only for a while (see above).
- I do not like country music (see above).
- Inappropriate humor is funny. (That's-what-she-said jokes are awesome.)
- I am a Christian. I haven't been to church in over 10 years, but I firmly believe that Jesus Christ is my savior. I can't stand it when people say "GD." That is the worst curse word ever. It's even worse than f**k or c**t.
- Yes, I say the "f" word. I rarely say the "c" word unless I'm REALLY pissed off or if someone is acting like one.
- Integrity, dependability, and punctuality...If I say I'm going to do something, I follow through and usually within a timely manner.
- I have not owned cable (or dish, or satellite) since 2007. Yes, I own a television, and I use it to watch dvd's. I love movies. I just don't need TV.
- Sarcasm rules. If I say something shitty and I don't say "LOL," it shouldn't break your heart. I'm just being awesome.
- NO MIND GAMES.
- Reread the sentence fragment above. Again. Again. Wait, yeah, go ahead and read it again.
- I like to share my day with you and tell you everything that happened -- good and bad. Every day.
You:
- You love animals. If you occasionally let your dog nap at the foot of your bed, that's one thing. If you spoon your dog underneath your covers, please move on to the next match.com-er.
- Thank you for being on time -- all the time, not just on our first date.
-You do not use drugs of any kind (the occasional alcoholic bev is acceptable). No smoking of any kind.
- Sarcasm is one of your daily routines.
- You are a Christian. I don't care if you never go to church, as long as you believe that Jesus Christ is your savior.
- Health is important to you and you care about your figure. Yes, I'd love to go hiking or play trampoline dodge ball with you.
- You like to dance too? I appreciate your honesty. It's ok if you suck at it, at least you have fun doing it. (The aforementioned applies to dancing only.)
- You are intelligent AND educated. Yes, you graduated college. And you use proper grammar.
- No way, you like stupid-funny movies too? What a coincidence.
- Soooo glad to hear that you don't play mind games! It's a relief to know I don't have to wade through your bullshit to get to the real meaning of your words.
- You expect me to listen to your problems. I can't promise that I will have the answers, but at least you trust me enough to talk to me about them.
- You like to hear about my day.
- You like to tell me about your day.
Pretty simple, huh?
Now start punching those keys.
