I'm the youngest of 3 boys (two older brothers are happily married with two kids each), from Wash St and I'm lucky enough to be stationed back here. Went to UW, did ROTC for the army and have been in ever since. I've got a pretty sweet job right now, hours I can plan off of, no deployments looming, etc. etc. I'm gonna be 34 in the drop of a hat, never married, no kids, and never engaged. I'm not a debbie downer but the happy go lucky guy I was in my 20s has given way to bit more cynical 30 something with a "This is all there is to life?" attitude. I've been disappointed by relationships in the past and I'm sure I have disappointed others. I'd still like to get married and have kids but in a way I've given up the "search" and now I'm relegated to the net, I rarely go out, don't meet women at work, don't go to church often, don't do the "my friend would be perfect for you" thing, so here I am.
I remember envying friends that were married and wanting their life, only to see their relationships/marriages become unhappy and dull and in a way that kinda put things in perspective. I thought I needed to get married by 30 and do the things that our parents and grandparents did at that age, well 30 came and went but hope still remains. In a way I feel excited, happy to not be in the shoes of friends that are married and miserable, but I know the window of opportunity for men isn't that long---i.e. if you aren't married by 35-40 you probably won't be. I guess we become old dogs, set in our ways/routine, and become too selfish to make the necessary changes that go along with having a happy, loving relationship. Although I'm not there yet I can start to relate to that notion.
The last thing I want is to be someone that I'm not thought to be. I'm an open book and time really isn't on my side, I'll tell you whatever you want, let you know my true personality, present myself as the normal 9-5 guy I am and I ask the same in return. When the "newness" of a relationship wears off and you've heard every story the other person has had to tell and you're just left with the other person and yourself, you still need to be in love and happy. I think everyone has been excited after meeting someone but after a month or two of getting to know the person it just fades out.
I've been burned in the past by women and have burned women along the way. You know how it is, one person is more into the other and the person not into it as much starts to mentally check out. I believe that communication is key to a relationship, letting stuff boil to a point of frustration and anger soon signals a boiling point and the ultimate end. I will do everything I can to be receptive to a partner and let them know where they stand with me at all times. In today's "get of rid of it when you don't need it" society strong healthy, happy relationships are no longer the norm but the exception. If we try something and it's not going the way we want it we get bored with it and discard it, instead of working to fix it.
I call people out on their BS and don't mind it at all if they call me out on mine. I like an assertive, confident woman but when it's all said and done I want a girl that will let me lead. You can work, make more money than me (you have to give me some though, jk), make decisions, put your foot down when needed, etc. etc. but let me take the reins and stand by me. I believe that for every actual good, real, honest person out there that there are 4-5 flakes, so if I'm skeptical from the get go I apologize, I'm just playing the percentages. If you're interested just say "hey" what's the worst that could happen? ;) At the end of the day this is just about what I can do for you and what you can do for me and the rest is just clutter. Finally, take a look at where I'm at on a map then look at where you are on a map, if you're not willing to at least split the drive to meet up, don't bother messaging me because we aren't a match.
