One of the questions I get [VERB PAST TENSE] a lot is “Can you [VERB] us about your life?” Sure! I grew up in an [ADJECTIVE] town called [NONSENSE WORD]. It’s an [ADJECTIVE] place to visit, but you wouldn’t want to [VERB] there! (Actually, I [VERBED] there twice, once with [NAME OF PERSON IN ROOM] and another time with [THEIR GOLDFISH]).
Eventually, I went to [PLACE] where I earned my Bachelor’s [NOUN] in filmmaking. It was an [ADJECTIVE] time, and I made a lot of [PLURAL NOUNS, MANY OF THEM JEWISH] there.
Soon it was time to join the real world and get a [NOUN]. I went to [VERB] for a company called [NONSENSE WORD] (Whose motto is the very memorable [SOMETHING STUPID]). I worked there for [NUMBER] years and made [NOT A LOT] of money.
But now I’m [VERB –ING] new things and have moved to [PLACE]. It’s often [ANOTHER WORD FOR SMOGGY] here. But don’t [VERB], after I become rich and famous, I’ll definitely remember all the little people, and be sure to [NO, I PROBABLY WON’T].
With that out of the way, let's talk about you. You are Liz Lemon. (Or not, I'm pretty open-minded.)
More specifically, I want to laugh. A lot. I'm a little unnerved by people who lack a tiny and healthy dose of cynicism (enough to sometimes make you raise an eyebrow, curl a wry smile, and say "Huh?" - not enough that your catchphrase is "No, you're wrong.")
Crossword puzzles in bed on a Sunday? Check. Red Sox game at the pub after? Triple check. Be ok with the fact that, despite having the requisite male bodily parts which should dictate I grunt and scratch a lot, I will get starry eyed within visual distance of a puppy.
I know it's wishful thinking, but, if you've ever built your own computer, let's skip the winks and just go get ice cream. Now. (You get in line, I'll find parking.)