They say you won't find what you're looking for until you stop looking for it -- which is ironic because match.com is all about looking...
For the record, I hate the whole idea of internet dating. I'm the child of REALLY old parents -- my dad was 50 and my mom was like 46 when I was born -- so I'm kind of a medical marvel. Seriously, I'm surprised I don't have Down Syndrome -- although, I may have Asperger's.
Anyway, my dad, who could barely operate a microwave, found his new wife -- I like to call her my "internet mom" -- on the information super highway, so the whole idea gives me douche chills -- but I'm kinda enlightened so what the eff...
The perfect girl possesses some of these qualities:
-Is obviously beautiful when all dressed up, but looks just as gorgeous in a t-shirt and jeans...
-Has thirty different ways of calling me “babe” so I know what mood she’s in at all times...
-Always unlocks the drivers side door for me after I let her in…
-Rolls her eyes and smiles when I do something stupid…
-Tries to pay even though I won’t let her…
-Can quote "Caddyshack"...
-Has cute little feet that tuck perfectly between my legs...
-Drives a Prius
-Lets her body go limp when she hugs me so I have to hold her up…
-Likes sleeping on my chest…
-Loves her family…
-Hates scary movies and celebrity ghost reality shows, so I have to get up early on Saturday morning to watch them…
