Hello, howdy and hi...........
Next stop.... Lima beans, lentils, bean sprouts, tofu, and telemarketers....5 things that are ridiculous and mildly annoying...hmm... add vegans, the extreme left and extreme right for that matter as well.
Ah, self-representation....(and in any case, a little comic relief never hurt anyone)semi-avid karoake nut, nothing more fun then making a complete fool out of myself in front of 50 people,ah (Harrahs fame and fortune...oops, should of thought that one through). Watch very little television with the exception of football. Big on movies, but I am more of a renter then a theater goer, I think netflix loses money on my subscription. Enjoy just about anything outdoors, with the exception of water-skiing......wiping out and racking self with ski= never again. Equally happy with nights out on the town(cliche, I think everyone puts that comment in their profile) or kicking back to a good movie(well 'good' is a somewhat subjective term).
Now to poke fun at some of the requirements that some folks state in their profile.
Dealbreaker's and expectations-
You must weigh exactly 122 lbs
You must be 5' 8''
You must make a good deal more or less money then myself
You must eat Cheerios on Saturdays and Raisin Bran on Sundays; Capt'n Crunch is a no-no, unless that day falls on a holiday or during a lunar eclipse.
You must be the second born of three siblings.
You must only listen to 90's music, unless it's Iron Maiden or Herman's Hermits
You must have 1.75 children
You must have a degree from Kaplan University. If not call now, operators are standing by. I always think of 'Welcome Back Kotter' when a Kaplan commerical is on.
You must like Kung Pao Chicken...but without the peanuts
Your birthday must be in July and on an odd numbered day
You must eat Pepperidge Farm cookies while naked(Sundays only)...Pepperidge Farm remembers
You must not drink from the milk carton; I can, but this isn't about me.
Crackers in bed is an automatic disqualification(wait, are they Ritz? Everything goes with a Ritz)
If you meet all of these qualifications, please send your resume with cover letter and I will discuss with HR.
And thank you for shopping at Match; where every kiss begins with ok.
