… I’ve never been convicted of a felony and never served time in jail.
… I’m not saddled with any alimony payments to crazy ex-wives.
... I never drink milk from the carton and always put the toilet seat down.
… I actually show-up when I tell you I will.
… I own a home and make all my payments on time.
… I wear briefs, and I don’t apologize for it.
… I eat meat, and I don’t apologize for that either.
… I have held employment with the same entity for 18 years.
… I don’t say “like” and “y’know” all the time.
… I only have one credit card – and it’s not maxed-out.
… I have all my hair, and most of it is still brown.
… I’ve never been committed to a mental institution, despite the protests of my friends.
… I use Downey fabric softner!
… I inhaled before it was legal – but that was a long time ago!
… AND… I am and have always been a one-woman guy!
