I’m very comfortable in my own skin and quite secure in my singledom. I promise that statement is not a guise for my true nature as a serial dater or someone who thinks being in a relationship is all sunshine, rainbows, kittens, and stuff. I think that I, like many people in their thirties, could probably write my own book titled “Wishing I Knew What I Know Now Back Then When I Really Needed to Know It.” Mais ce n'est pas la vrai vie!! Life would be way too easy that way. Instead, we tough it out, learn from our mistakes, and get our arses moving onward and upward.
That said, I would really like to meet someone who:
-understands that I’m truly a genius cursed with a bad memory and will therefore be ready to secretly remind me of names, dates, and key talking points when I’m showing off for my friends
-likes good music, but knows that I'm not really talking about mainstream radio stuff. (Bonus points if you’ve got Tom Waits and/or Otis Redding in your iTunes library)
-appreciates my extreme empathy for kids and animals and how much I absolutely can’t stand it when they are hurt in any way
-will gently remind me that I’m not really going to kick anyone’s a** when I’m riled about some injustice that I’ve suffered, but won’t make me feel like a crazy person for being upset about something
-understands that teaching means the world to me and appreciates how hard I work
-can roll with the fact that I believe all people should have the same rights and I’m in no way conservative
-lets me pretend that my 2 and a half year stint in art school makes me a “recovering photographer”
On the other hand…
If you are one of the following, I’ve had enough of you and you need not apply:
1) Womanizer (noun): A selfish, narcissistic, nefarious character who needs to manipulate and use women to feed his own childish, self-serving ego.
OR
2) Stage-5 Clinger (noun): Usually someone who is very insecure, needy and/or clingy who calls/texts 10-20 times a day with messages including, but not limited to, “Why aren’t you texting me back???” or “What did I do wrong? I just don’t understand!!!” Generally this begins after the first date, but it’s been known to happen before even meeting in person in online dating situations.
(Calm down. I don’t remember writing “behaving like a psycho” under interests in my Match profile.)
So, you think you can hang? Excellent. Send me a message and I’ll talk to you soon.
