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osu29

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Active within 24 hours

33 year old man
Columbus, Ohio, United States

Seeking:
women 23-36
Within:
50 Miles of Columbus, Ohio, United States
Relationship:
Never Married
Have kids:
No
Want kids:
Probably not
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Body type:
About average
Height:
6'0" (182cms)
Faith:
Atheist
Smoke:
No Way
Drink:
Moderately

 

ABOUT HIM & WHO HE'S LOOKING FOR

Welcome to my profile! That's a great outfit you're wearing, whatever it is! And your hair/bald head/Hello Kitty scalp tattoo looks amazing! You're definitely aging better than that dumpy siamese twin of yours. And thanks for the two lines of beautiful prose that constitute your entire profile! It really helps me to separate the women who love laughter and life and happiness from those who prefer misery and sorrow and death. Onward...

Two important things:

First, please read my profile and info. It's frustrating to get to know someone only to hear something I've had front and center since day one is a dealbreaker.

Second, I don't need the next person I date to be the person I stay with forever (but that's great if they are). That means differences aren't dealbreakers for me.

Okay, back to more fun stuff:

Are you jumping into the suspiciously warm waters of online dating because more corporeal folks all seem the same? Because everyone is trying so hard to be a hipster or a yuppie or some other template where you can guess all of their interests and opinions just by looking at them? Go ahead, guess what music I listen to. WRONG! You're so stupid! Just kidding. Sorry about that. I mean, some of you are stupid. No offense; it's statistics! You're maybe stupid. There.

Now that you're here, may I ask yet another rhetorical question? If so, continue reading. The question is right after this colon: Are you tired of guys who can't find any of their shirts? Because I know where almost all of my shirts are.

Despite how impossible it may seem, I have my crap together. Homeowner, good job, financially stable, etc. I guess it's possible I got fired like a second ago and didn't immediately rush to update my match profile, and my condo building was assaulted by ball lightning and burned down, and I went on a bender and spent all my savings on a fleet of riding lawn mowers for a pilot script I will have started writing called "John Deer" about a kinda half-post-apocalyptic society where men caught soliciting prostitutes must perform court-ordered community service by driving riding lawn mowers into the forest and running over sleeping ten-point bucks to cull rampant overpopulation. But if that happens I'll reply to you and say, sorry, my bad, I did the lawn mower thing.

I'm pretty nerdy. There are video games in my home and the person living there plays them and I don't have roommates so you do the math. I can also do math. 23 x 17 = 391! I did that in like two seconds.

I do have a softer side. I'm often completely amazed at the beauty of things. I'd like to share that amazement and wonder with someone.

I listen to electronic music. IDM (not EDM) and dnb (kinda EDM). Aphex Twin (see? you didn't know that), Venetian Snares, Noisia, Neosignal, etc. Also Sigur Ros, Sufjan Stevens, NIN, Third Eye Blind (don't roll your eyes), and 90s grunge.

TV: I'm picky. Right now, it's GoT, The Leftovers, and The Knick.

Books: I'm a big reader. Contemporary lit, nonfiction with titles like "Ouch: How Cacti Helped Us Colonize Jupiter" (not a real book), behavioral psych, classics.

My favorite sport is betting on the color of Gatorade thrown on the winning coach at the Super Bowl. I also follow OSU, the Reds, and the Bengals (and I'm an unapologetic fair-weather Cavs fan).

As far as the type of person I'm looking for: mostly someone who will say lots of inappropriate things with me. If you are easily offended, I'm not for you. I love learning, no matter what the topic. I also like drinking and being dumb. It's a delicate balance. But if you're not intellectually curious, we're not going to work. Long term, I mean (short term fun is fine, too).

I hate to say this, but let's face it, looks matter. The rules of physical attraction don't go out the window just because we're online. Speaking of going out the window, here are some cool words: defenestrate, mithridatism, heliogabaline. Words are fun.

Ok bye!

Interests:
Book club, Coffee and conversation, Dining out, Movies/Videos, Museums and art, Music and concerts, Exploring new areas, Playing cards, Playing sports, Political interests, Travel/Sightseeing, Video games, Watching sports, Wine tasting
Sports & exercise:
Baseball, Basketball, Billiards / Pool, Running, Skiing, Tennis / Racquet sports, Walking / Hiking
Exercise habits:
I exercise 1-2 times per week
Pets:
Pet Essay:

Dogs are fine, but if you have "Must Love Dogs" in your profile (I'm looking at you, thousands of women at the same time), then you're tripping both my groupthink and my obsessed dog owner alarms. And they are loud alarms that cause me pain.

Political views:
Middle of the Road
Sign:
Don't display my sign
College:
The Ohio State University, Columbus, OH
For fun:

I'm lucky to have a few really good friends who I really love getting together with and talking for hours. That's my favorite thing to do.

Favorite hot spots:

Volcanos, Betelgeuse, the surface of a pizza

Favorite things:

Ducks, Inception, The West Wing, Mexican Food, Writing, Banter, Physics, Airheads Bites, David Foster Wallace, Nerdy RPGs, Seat Heaters, Naked Singularities, Louis CK, Ohio State, Trappist Ales, Game of Thrones, True Detective, The Luminaries.

Last read:

The Orphan Master's Son; Tenth of December; Thinking Fast and Slow; Antifragile; Joseph Anton; The People in the Trees; Life After Life; The Luminaries; currently reading A Tale for the Time Being. Lots of contemporary lit.

ABOUT... HIM HIS DATE
APPEARANCE:
Height:
6'0" (182cms)
3'0" (91cms) to 8'11" (271cms)
Body type:
About average
Slender, About average, Athletic and toned
Eyes:
Hazel
No preference
Hair:
Light brown
No preference
   
LIFESTYLE:
Smoke:
No Way
No Way, Occasionally
Drink:
Moderately
Social Drinker, Regularly, Moderately
Occupation:
Legal
No preference

Mid-level associate in complex litigation at an international law firm. Former federal judicial clerk. Just what you expected, I'm sure.

Income:
$150,001+
No preference
Relationship:
Never Married
Never Married, Divorced
Have kids:
No
Yes, and they sometimes live at home, No, Yes, and they live away from home
Want kids:
Probably not
Not sure, Probably not, No, No, but it's OK if my partner has kids
   
BACKGROUND/VALUES:
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
No preference

Personal dating anecdote that has nothing to do with ethnicity: I went out with someone from Tinder once, and she crashed her car twice within two blocks of the bar. Friends don't let friends use Tinder.

Faith:
Atheist
Agnostic, Atheist, Other

I find the natural world amazing and beautiful. That's enough for me.

Languages:
English
English
Education:
Graduate degree
Bachelors degree, Graduate degree, PhD / Post Doctoral

A JD is kinda between "Graduate degree" and "Ph.D," but I just can't quite elevate it.

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