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osu29

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33 year old man
Columbus, Ohio, United States

Seeking:
women 25-35
Within:
50 Miles of Columbus, Ohio, United States
Relationship:
Never Married
Have kids:
No
Want kids:
Probably not
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Body type:
About average
Height:
6'0" (182cms)
Faith:
Atheist
Smoke:
No Way
Drink:
Moderately

 

ABOUT HIM & WHO HE'S LOOKING FOR

Welcome to my profile! That's a great outfit you're wearing, whatever it is! And your hair/bald head/Hello Kitty scalp tattoo looks amazing! You're definitely aging better than that dumpy siamese twin of yours. And thanks for the mindless platitudes in your profile! Now let's get to the juicy personal information...

In short, if you're looking for a successful professional, but who's wired much differently than other successful professionals (think experimental fiction writer meets theoretical physicist, only without any of the requisite skills), keep reading. If you're here in part because everyone seems exactly the same, likes the exact same things, and most of those things are pretty awful, keep reading. If you've dated plenty of normal people with normal hopes and dreams and found all of it boring and a little sad, then, yep....

Buuuut, if your profile reveals to all the world that you love life, laughter, having fun, and being happy, we're not a match, because I can't imagine what would possess a person (other than sarcasm) to post something that ridiculous under the guise of telling people something informative about themselves. If all you're doing is going through the motions and contacting people based solely on their looks, why in the name of the Flying Spaghetti Monster would you turn to online dating?

Okay, rules of engagement. The first rule is itself about rules. Meta! If you have rules about how people are supposed to contact you in order for you to respond, let me explain something. Many perfectly desirable people send a quick wink instead of an original Shakespearean sonnet because half the women on this site aren't even subscribed. And what if you think I'm appallingly ugly? I'm not, but ugly guys with beards are all the rage now, so who knows? Why waste time? Wink back if you're interested, and we'll go from there. Just be warned that I find small talk even more boring in an email than in person, so I might zone out and stop responding if we've exchanged several emails and the conversation is still how was your weekend, it's hot outside, etc.

Oh, I forgot to write other rules. Here's another meta rule: don't have a ton of rules. Life is a waterslide: go with the flow! Also don't say stupid things like that. I'm kinda burnt out right now on women who sit around writing themselves pointless little notes cribbed from oft-parodied inspirational posters like "know yourself" and "dance like nobody's watching." A crapload of nothing is not a philosophy. Put your artistic talents to better use and draw Bill Nye riding a T-Rex or something.

I'm pretty nerdy, in case that wasn't already obvious. There are still video games in my home and the person living in my home plays them and I don't have roommates so you do the math (I can also do math). I listen to electronic music, ranging from the weird and interesting (Aphex Twin) to the probably horrible (drum and bass). Some more normal music, too: Sigur Ros, Sufjan Stevens, NIN, a weird love for Third Eye Blind and 90's rock/grunge. I read a couple books a month from all over the spectrum: classics, contemporary fiction, nonfiction with titles like "Ouch: How Cactuses Helped Us Colonize Jupiter" (not a real book). My favorite sport is betting on the color of Gatorade thrown on the winning coach at the Super Bowl.

As far as the type of person I'm looking for, a proclivity for saying lots of inappropriate things is a plus. I like New York Times Crossword puzzles, Jeopardy!, and good conversation. I love learning, no matter what the topic. I also like drinking and being dumb. It's a delicate balance. But if you're not intellectually curious, we're not going to work.

Thanks for reading!

Interests:
Book club, Coffee and conversation, Dining out, Movies/Videos, Museums and art, Music and concerts, Playing cards, Playing sports, Political interests, Travel/Sightseeing, Video games, Watching sports, Wine tasting
Sports & exercise:
Baseball, Basketball, Billiards / Pool, Tennis / Racquet sports, Walking / Hiking
Exercise habits:
I exercise 3-4 times per week
Pets:
Political views:
Middle of the Road
Sign:
Don't display my sign
College:
The Ohio State University, Columbus, OH
For fun:

I'm lucky to have a few really good friends who I really love getting together with and talking for hours. That's my favorite thing to do.

Favorite hot spots:

One day I was on a train in Wales and it randomly took me to a place called Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. Not a joke. Google it! It wasn't a particularly nice place, though. I love Edinburgh and Oxford and Paris.

Favorite things:

Ducks, Pizza, Inception, The West Wing, Mexican Food, Writing, Banter, Physics, Airheads Bites, David Foster Wallace, Nerdy RPGs, Seat Heaters, Naked Singularities, Louis CK, Ohio State, Trappist Ales, Game of Thrones, True Detective, The Luminaries.

Last read:

The Orphan Master's Son; Tenth of December; Thinking Fast and Slow; Antifragile; Joseph Anton; The People in the Trees; Life After Life; The Luminaries; currently reading A Tale for the Time Being. Lots of contemporary lit.

ABOUT... HIM HIS DATE
APPEARANCE:
Height:
6'0" (182cms)
3'0" (91cms) to 8'11" (271cms)
Body type:
About average
Slender, About average, Athletic and toned
Eyes:
Hazel
No preference
Hair:
Light brown
No preference
   
LIFESTYLE:
Smoke:
No Way
No Way, Occasionally
Drink:
Moderately
Social Drinker, Regularly, Moderately
Occupation:
Legal
No preference

Corporate litigation attorney. Just what you expected.

Income:
$150,001+
No preference
Relationship:
Never Married
Never Married, Divorced
Have kids:
No
No
Want kids:
Probably not
Not sure, Probably not, No, No, but it's OK if my partner has kids
   
BACKGROUND/VALUES:
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
No preference

Let's continue my About Me here, because why not? Personal dating anecdote: I went out with someone from Tinder once, and she crashed her car twice within two blocks of the bar. Friends don't let friends use Tinder.

Faith:
Atheist
Agnostic, Atheist, Other

I find the natural world amazing and beautiful. That's enough for me.

Languages:
English
English
Education:
Graduate degree
Bachelors degree, Graduate degree, PhD / Post Doctoral

A JD is kinda between "Graduate degree" and "PhD," but I just can't quite elevate it.

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