I get that this is a resume, and all the recruiters are taking what I say at face value. All I can say is...I've been there before, sitting at home with my resume in hand realizing how great this job would be for me, and I for it, without a snowball's chance in hell (please excuse the cliche) that they are going to realize the same thing by just reading my resume. Now that I'm in the job that I know I'm good for, in hindsight, my past resumes weren't all that representative of my potential as a job candidate. Well, that's life! Whaddaya gonna do.
Here is my resume (the 1 page-er):
I am a sucker for beautiful voices. Not the pop kind, but the Broadway kind. The Lea Salonga kind. I'm an acapella fan. I sang in a performance choir in high school and did a performance tour in Spain. I like fresh ground peaberry coffee darkly roasted and brewed with a pour-over or french press. I like NPR. I would consider myself a foodie, and enjoy GrubWithUs meals. I'm a hardware engineer and an MBA candidate and am passionate about combining engineering and business. I have a very unconventional perspective on careers in business. I have a very open mind and I am a lifelong holder of minority opinions. I like sarcasm. I love to learn. I love being random. I love cultural experiences. I think scorpions taste like Lay's potato chips. I like to think I'm funny in a sarcastic way, and I like to crack jokes (sometimes nerdy ones), but at the same time I can be serious and develop pretty meaningful relationships with people I hit it off with.
I am looking for someone with an open mind. I'm looking for someone who likes to joke around. I'm looking for someone REAL. I want someone who doesn't understand materialism, because I sure don't. I'm looking for someone who is refreshed by new experiences and who loves to learn new things. I like the idea of dating casually to get to know each other and moving to the next step if the compatibility is there. I hope to attract someone who has a similar outlook on life and enjoys their career. I like women who are beautiful (is that so wrong?), positive, excited, passionate, and intelligent.
Here's what I want to say even though my resume was supposed to say it all:
I've met many people throughout my life, and there are indeed plenty of fish in the sea (man I just can't stop using cliches can I??). But in my experience, if you're like me..someone who isn't afraid to be different...there aren't that many real people out there. So I'm just going to go ahead and say that if I find someone I think can understand what I'm saying...I mean TRULY understand what I'm saying..that it's worth a shot. And yes, a shot is an interview. You can't get the job just yet. For that, you'll have to nail the interview.
P.S. Some of this is tongue and cheek :-).