So, I started this profile as a joke, but for some reason I've gotten this far without being overly sarcastic or down right lying so I might as well finish it.
My name's Charlie and I'm an alcoholic. (Crap, and I was doing so well, let's try again.)
Hello, my name's Charlie and I like long walks on the beach. Being the closest beach is about 1000 miles away, I guess I'll settle for coffee.
Or a combination of the above.
What am I looking for in a match? I have absolutely no idea. I once wrote down every quality I was looking for in a woman and realized I was describing my mother. I swore at Freud, tore up the list, and taken it one coffee date at a time ever since.
So, if you made it this far, you're either skim reading, it which case shame on you, I've spend hours struggling to each out the about 800 characters just to have you wantonly tossing them to the wind, or I wrote something right above to perk your interested. I guess this is the point where I should convince you that you want to contact me. I, however, find conventional wisdom an affront to my intelligence and scoff at authority knowing full well that my worst fear is to become that authority. I don't know about you but scoffing myself is somewhere between between pointless and pathetic. So, I'm going to tell you all the reasons why you shouldn't contact me.
Ok, glad to get done with that.
Enough of me blabbing. And again, smile -- a sincere smile is the cheapest, most effective beauty enhancement there is. And insincere smile is the second. :)