But seriously, dont keep reading if you cant handle a man with a multi-faceted personality. Im part rockstar, philosophizer, and comedian all rolled up into one. Add a pinch of mischief and blend in a hot tub.
*** Ladies, I appreciate all the e-mails. If I dont get back to you right away, dont be offended. Even If I dont think it'll work out Ill still reply, its called "manners." ***
Im just going to list what I dont want, anything else is fair game.
-If you dont have a reason for doing what you do and your therapist has to help you figure it out, count me out. Youre old enough to not repeat mistakes and bad choices.
-I expect someone equally attractive. If the number of hours it takes you to get ready exceeds your IQ, we arent gonna work. Im not impressed by looks alone, street smarts and a kind soul go a long way with me.
-Im not looking for a one night stand. (Not to say they dont happen and anyone who says they dont is lying or ignorant, which do you want?) Im not looking for a new life. There is a happy middle ground whether its committed or casual. And no, this does not automatically make me a player; youre a hottie, does that make you a slut?
-My momma (who is a saint) raised me right, I will treat you with respect. If you cant do the same, were not gonna get along. I can be sensitive, but im not going to be a punching bag. I can roll up the sleeves and carry you, but I wont consistently rescue you from self-created crisis. Ill surprise you with chocolate when youre PMS'ing, but if you go off on me for no reason...I'll eat the chocolate myself.
-Age doesnt really matter to me, emotional maturity does. If drama follows you around then contact a talent agency, not me.
-Relationships arent fairy tales. Im not prince charming, youre not a princess. It takes work from two people to make it happen. We can live a fantasy life, but we have to visit reality regularly. Ill sweep you off your feet, but in return you have to knock my socks off. If you dont think you can get me barefoot, then you probably cant.
-If you cant keep up with me on the dance floor, you wont impress me. "Finding each others rhythm" is important for more than just dancing.
-If youre a high maintenance barbie, we arent going to work. However, if you can go from jeans and t-shirt tom-boy to decked out hottie, Ill think youre very sexy.
- I don't control nor manipulate, but rest assured I will influence you. (I'll lead you into some mischief and you'll like it.) If you are a control freak, we won't get along. Go find an insecure spineless wuss to lick your boots, there are plenty to choose from. If you thrive by playing manipulative games, guess what? I recognize them immediately and they don't work on me.
-Dont plan on spending your time with me on the couch. Id much rather be out and about. Whether it be people watching or riding my tandem bicycle, its more fun than watching reruns of How I Met Your Mother on TNT. That said, sometimes I just wanna sit and watch reruns of How I Met Your Mother on TNT. Its a double standard, deal with it.
-If you dont like country music or classic rock, this isnt going to work.
Theres my list of "anti-demands," if youre quick to judge, youve probably moved on with your life already and spared both of us some wasted time. If youve read the whole thing then I'll see you out there.
