So, I have gotten the question a few times: "why are you (still) online, single, etc.?"
First of all...don't you just love when people ask you that??
Well, I guess there are many reasons why--too many to itemize here. However, if I am really honest with myself, many of the reasons lie within. I may not have been ready to devote the time and effort required to date seriously. At times, I've been completely preoccupied with other things--work, travel, etc. Then there were the comparisons to prior relationships, where, I will admit, I was disappointed and discouraged for various reasons. I spent most of my twenties/early thirties in just a couple of those relationships. The list goes on and on.
After rereading what I wrote so long ago, and doing a self-assessment of sorts, I've decided to replace the old words and give a true snapshot of "me", since I believe that, given various changes I have made in my life, I am finally "ready".
I am not perfect, and have finally realized that it is therefore completely unfair to seek perfection in someone else. I can be late at times, and have way too many interests, which can lead to a bit of disorganization from time to time. I am trained to work in the corporate world, but have a constant struggle with myself as I want to "save the world" also. I am an INFP (for those Myers Briggs people out there), if that means anything to you. I love anything creative, am always inquisitive, and want to visit at least six continents (not really feeling Antarctica....). I love to laugh, am a romantic person at my core, and fight with my idealistic side. The realist in me has to keep that side in check--it can be a cold world!
I am a dreamer. At one time I resisted that quality, but now I love that about myself. My heart guides most of my actions, although I am still very analytical. I'm genuine and don't care much for pretentious people or false airs. I believe that life is too short to judge everyone, so I don't. I think that you can never give or receive too many hugs, kisses, "I love you's", or words of encouragement. My godson, niece and nephew are my joy, and I adore my parents who have been married for over 45 years, along with the rest of my family and friends.
I'm old school in a lot of ways. I believe in marriage, eating together as a family, praying together, etc. The Golden Rule is something I try and live by, and no matter how old I get, I'm still frequently amazed at how many people seem to believe the opposite is true.
I used to write that I'm cool with being friends...but let's face it. That isn't why most of us are online. We want that chemistry, that excitement....that anticipation of finally finding the partner in our lives that we can use words like "forever" and "unconditional love" with without any trepidation.
So. That's me--unfiltered.
If you are kind, love God and your family and friends; are intelligent, considerate, and respectful....we should talk soon. Thanks for reading my essay (it wasn't supposed to be this long!).... :)