I am a schizophrenic, extremely dangerous, narcissistic, raging psychopath looking for a naive, self-effacing, sugar momma who will worship me and be willing to spring me from jail whenever I get into trouble with the law. My biggest aspiration is to appear on the show "America's Ten Most Wanted." I have a big heart.....literally.....it is enlarged from exercising so much all of my life. I also have a large prostate causing me to get up multiple times in the middle of the night to relieve myself. I enjoy tumbling on hot asphalt wearing only a G-string, synchronized swimming alone, cliff diving as long as it is not next to water (I hate getting wet!), and, of course, dodgeball. I collect medieval torture devices, anything poisonous, and venereal diseases.
If you are still reading this you are either so shocked that you can't stop reading it or else you know that I am just kidding. Everything I said in the first paragraph really isn't true.....errrrr.....well.....except maybe for the prostate part ;-). I enjoy being around people with a good sense of humor because I love to laugh and am a kid at heart. I am also laid-back, soft-spoken, sensitive, and very affectionate. I love to cuddle! My ideal evening would be at home, candles lit, lights out, snuggling on the sofa with my sweetheart watching a movie or listening to music.
I am looking for someone who is intelligent, has a good sense of humor, a good work ethic, thoughtful, caring, and desires to be in a monogamous relationship. I guess I am a hopeless romantic because I want to be with someone who I think about frequently throughout the day and can't wait to see after a long day at work. I think having your own independence is good and necessary, but it is always nice to get a text from your loved one during the day letting you know that she is thinking about you :-)