Okay, for those of you who have missed things up this point, let me bring you up to speed:
I was born in Brooklyn. In kindergarten I stuck a bean up my nose and had to go to the hospital to get it out. In 4th grade I was in a cat food commercial that I still show every time someone new comes over. In 5th grade I broke my jaw playing wiffle ball. In 7th grade I lived in Pakistan for 6 months. In high school I thought I was cool. In college I was in a lip-sync-only fake boy band called The Booty Boyz that was supposed to be a joke but which I took very seriously. I show that video every time someone new comes over too. In law school I got maced by two teenagers. For my 30th birthday I bought myself 5 awesome lamps from Belgium. Two summers ago I got kicked out of the Katy Perry concert. This Christmas I made my own wrapping paper. I nicknamed my car Dark Justice. I nicknamed myself Michael Puff Pastry. I have a remote control boat.
Now you’re all caught up.
So what do I do with myself presently? Let’s see. I go to work a lot. I drink Miller Lite and watch the NBA. I see a movie every Saturday. I of course prefer good ones, but also really enjoy bad ones. I’m a big fan of superhero movies. I’m way into many of the HBO and AMC shows, particularly Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad. I think and read about furniture. My mom and I have built a lot of the furniture in my house. I like clothes, especially suits and leather jackets. Part of the reason I became a lawyer was I wanted to wear a suit every day. I go spinning. I play basketball every Tuesday night in a church basement. I hang out with my friends and their 8 lb dog. Sometimes late at night I’ll just get in my car and go driving and blast music. I eat at Whole Foods, BRGR, and Mad Mex all the time, as they’re close and I don’t really cook. I have brunch at Casbah every Sunday. I have dinner at my parents’ house every Sunday. My dad’s an excellent cook. My sister just got married and lives in Virginia. I now have 3 stephews ages 8, 11, and 14, who are awesome. My grandma is 92 so we all do whatever she tells us to.
And what am I looking for? Hmm, there’s no specific criteria; it’s sort of a know-it-when-you-see-it type thing. I generally tend to go for dark hair. And I like girls that dress well and have a sense of style. But for the most part, I’m completely open. Sure, I want someone who shares at least some of the same interests, but on the other hand I don’t want to date a female version of myself. I want someone who’s into all kinds of stuff I know nothing about and have never tried before and who will introduce me to and educate me on those things.
That’s it for now. I look forward to telling you more about my remote control boat.
