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berrycharm5

Nice guy with balls

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Active within 3 days

28 year old man
Marina del Rey, California, United States

Seeking:
women 18-35
Within:
40 Miles of Venice, California, United States
Relationship:
Never Married
Have kids:
No
Want kids:
Someday
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Body type:
Athletic and toned
Height:
5'11" (180cms)
Faith:
Other
Smoke:
Yes, but trying to quit
Drink:
Moderately

 

ABOUT HIM & WHO HE'S LOOKING FOR

I'm a man of no talents. I never go out. Hate traveling. Hate books. Hate kids. I have bad breath. I have bad teeth. I have bad everything. I never shower. I dress like MC Hammer. Helping an old lady across the street is my idea of cruel and unusual punishment. I hate dogs. I hate trees. I hate birds. I hate bees. I bathe in raw sewage. Donald Rumsfeld is my personal idol. I give to the poor. Then take it back and charge interest. I watch TV all day. For extra loot, I scam needy families into buying timeshares to phony resorts. I yell at everybody. I'm always drunk. The pictures above are all fake - what you see are photos of this RENAISSANCE MAN that I spy on through my window. He wrote this profile too. I paid him $35.00 in pennies. I'm actually morbidly obese and never leave my putrid sofa except on weekends. On said weekends I change it up a bit. I'm very adventurous on weekends. I really like to experience this city for all it's worth. I go to Wal Mart wielding my credit card (which I nicked from a 75 year old church lady), and max it out on toothpaste which I then dump all over sleeping homeless people. Then I go out to eat. Like I said, I'm very reckless and bold on weekends...I pick my dinner from this rusty old dumpster, come home, devour the food, then strip off my clothes - everything save my lucky, tightey-whiteys which I never wash. I never take them off either. I'll tell you about them later if we hit it off ;) Anyway, after dinner I get drunk and watch TV. What do I watch?

Matlock.

Nothing but Matlock.

I'm on this site because...OH!!...AKKK!!!...EKKK!...UGHHHH...

...

Ah...Hello? Sorry. Right - I don't know how to say this but ah...the fellow I was just describing has just...choked to death.

I'm afraid as he was dictating his profile to me, the chicken bone he retrieved from the garbage earlier seemed to have lodged itself in his throat. Guess I should call the police...but I am single come to think on it...this is a dating site...and this dead guy's paying the tab...plus I haven't introduced myself yet. How rude!

The name's Joshua, that Renaissance Man mentioned above.

A description of myself would only lead to pompous back patting, so I'll just say I'm not perfect but pretty damn close. Damn, I just pompously back patted...I always do that! Look - it's a cliche, but I truly believe you have to love yourself before you can truly love anyone else. And I do. I also loath myself. And I think that's healthy too - keeps me honest. I'm honest to a fault by the way.

I'm looking for love, not a fling and I hope you're spiritual, passionate, compassionate, gracious, reckless, funny, beautiful, creative, honest, and wise. Kind of an amalgamation of Meryl Streep, Emily Dickinson, Joan of Arc, and Harriet Tubman. You're singular. You stick to your gut. You seek truth. You're dopey. Good taste doesn't hurt. By good taste I mean you like anything possessing a lick of talent, complexity and/or soul. You're real. By real I mean you're in the 0.99999 percentile of folks in this God forsaken city who don't have dollar signs implanted behind their retinas. You don't take any crap (I wish I could say that word that starts with an "s" and rhymes with "mitt" but this dumb site won't let me) unless you're wrong. Censorship upsets you. Also - in the words of Socrates, you "Know Thyself." I don't mean in the Biblical sense, but if you're unashamed or take zealous joy in that particular human activity, then by all means....Lord knows I'm "knowing myself" way too much these days, one of the main reasons I'm on this damn website....I'm talking about massturbation there, not the Bible. But speaking of the Bible, I hope you're openly seeking God...not necessarily Bible God, but God of sorts...your own interpretation.

Anyway I need a great woman so if you want a nice guy with balls and some sweeping romance just let me know.

Interests:
Alumni connections, Book club, Camping, Coffee and conversation, Business networking, Cooking, Dining out, Fishing/Hunting, Gardening/Landscaping, Hobbies and crafts, Movies/Videos, Museums and art, Music and concerts, Exploring new areas, Nightclubs/Dancing, Performing arts, Playing cards, Playing sports, Political interests, Religion/Spiritual, Shopping/Antiques, Travel/Sightseeing, Video games, Volunteering, Watching sports, Wine tasting
Sports & exercise:
Aerobics, Auto racing / Motorcross, Baseball, Basketball, Billiards / Pool, Bowling, Cycling, Football, Golf, Dancing, Inline skating, Martial arts, Running, Skiing, Soccer, Swimming, Tennis / Racquet sports, Walking / Hiking, Weights / Machines, Yoga, Other types of exercise, Hockey, VolleyBall
Exercise habits:
I exercise 3-4 times per week
Pets:
Pet Essay:

If you're going to be a walking cliche and require that I "must love dogs" before speaking to me, then rest assure dear lady - I do. In fact, I love pretty much every animal on this earth. I also love to eat pretty much every animal on this earth.

Political views:
Some other viewpoint
Sign:
Aries
College:
California State University, Northridge, Northridge, CA
For fun:

Writing, camping, reading, hiking, exploring, movies...lots of movies...games in every known form SAVE those involving dating (seriously inept at THAT game...just don't get it), riding my bike, thinking, playing guitar, museums, anything really...

Favorite hot spots:

Shangri-La, Ice Planet Hoth, The Getty, Canyons, Movie Theaters, Your Bed, Jersey, Wendy's, Middle Earth, New York, Yosemite, a hammock, a bath tub, Sequoia, any beach, Eden, Valhalla, my bed, anywhere I've not yet been...

Favorite things:

To name a few - Ikuru, Lost Horizon, The Apartment, Star Wars, Clue, Pulp Fiction, Princess Bride, Great Mouse Detective, Beatles, Sinatra, BB King, Mozart, Radiohead, Pink Floyd, John Williams, The Wire, Seinfeld, Lost, Colombo, Buffy, Rugrats

Last read:

Nag Hammadi library

ABOUT... HIM HIS DATE
APPEARANCE:
Height:
5'11" (180cms)
3'0" (91cms) to 8'11" (271cms)
Body type:
Athletic and toned
Slender, About average, Athletic and toned
Eyes:
Brown
No preference
Hair:
Light brown
No preference
   
LIFESTYLE:
Smoke:
Yes, but trying to quit
No preference
Drink:
Moderately
No preference
Occupation:
Nonprofit / Volunteer / Activist
No preference
Income:
$35,001 to $50,000
No preference
Relationship:
Never Married
No preference
Have kids:
No
No answer
Want kids:
Someday
Someday
   
BACKGROUND/VALUES:
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
No preference

Dumb American

Faith:
Other
No preference

Spiritual, not religious.
Though I am the son of a preacher man, and the only one that can ever reach you.

Languages:
Arabic, Chinese, Dutch, English, French, German, Hebrew, Hindi, Italian, Japanese, Korean, Norwegian, Portuguese, Russian, Spanish, Swedish, Tagalog, Urdu, Other
English
Education:
Bachelors degree
No preference

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