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aicpjim

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49 year old man
North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, United States

Seeking:
women 38-51
Within:
90 Miles of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, United States
Relationship:
Divorced
Have kids:
Yes, they live away from home (3)
Want kids:
No, but it's OK if my partner has kids
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Body type:
Athletic and toned
Height:
5'11" (180cms)
Faith:
Agnostic
Smoke:
No Way
Drink:
Social Drinker

 

ABOUT HIM & WHO HE'S LOOKING FOR

ME:

Polysyllabic word monger with a steel trap mind and unshakeable concentr--- oh look, a puppy!
Being a paranoid-dyslexic, I STRONGLY suspect people are secretly plotting to make me happy... sneaky buggers!

Sometimes I wonder if I am suited for marriage. After reading hundreds of your profiles, the fact that I enjoy watching television (mostly History Channel documentaries) is, apparently, some form of sin second only to child abuse in the level of disgust it generates. And I occasionally value alone-time. On the plus side of the ledger, I am monogamous, faithful and loyal to a fault, and really value emotional and physical intimacy. So the jury is out if I will ever be married again. No matter how much they deny it, people seem to expect you to change when you put a ring on it.

I also recently learned that I'm a Bipolar, co-dependent, narcissistic, slightly misogynistic, sociopathic cretin with push-pull behavioral tendencies, a persecution complex, and an unequal relationship. Boy, that will be the LAST time I ever wander down the self-help aisle at Barnes and Noble! ;-)

I've never had to wear an orange jump suit, but make no mistake - I have a little bad boy in me... This one time? I totally ripped the tag off a mattress, after giving it a disapproving glare. I never rewind rental DVD's... I don't water my houseplants... if they die, that's a sign of weakness, and I don't tolerate weakness, or non-alcoholic beer, or jazz hands.... or mimes...shiver! Sometimes I even wash darks and whites together... in warm water! (gasp!) Uh huh, that's just how I roll, playah! Haters gonna hate...

I've got a girl cat. So in terms of having an emotionally-unavailable female in my life? I'm all good here, thanks!

I never thought I could run a marathon, until I walked face-first into a spider web... the rest was history.

As much as I enjoy texting, autocorrect is NOT my friend. I'm always typing some thong I didn't Nintendo!

Some of my competition behaves badly and turns you off from this process. Just remember, some people are like Slinkies... not good for much, but awfully fun to push down a set of stairs!

I have 3 little girls, named Custody, Visitation, and Alimony (ok, not really) who live with their mom nearby, so I'm not relocating. They're amazing, but lord help you if you try to throw away one of their toys. I have to smuggle broken crayons out of my house like a Mexican drug lord.

Isn't this about finding someone who would MUCH rather ruin your lipstick than your mascara? If we connect, you won't be IN my top ten list... you'll BE the list.

YOU:

Some of you seem to be modern day Ruth's, looking for your Boaz. Let's hope you don't settle for Drunk'az, Po'az, or Beatinyo'az!

I'm most attracted to women who are height-weight proportional. But I'm also not interested in gym-obsessed people. I'm much more likely to do a cross-WORD with you, than cross-FIT.

My hope is that you will be:

* Playful....flirty... fun, affectionate, and happy-spirited... Go ahead, brat - give me a reason to flip ya' over my knee!

* Consistent with your communication, responsive to messages, willing to exchange flirty texts 'just because.' If you're the type that I can expect to hear from once every 2-3 days, please don't bother. And if your first response to a misunderstanding is to shut down and stop talking? Well, that's a fabulous relationship skill, said no one, ever...

Hopefully you have a good memory, 'cuz mine is crap... I was given the choice between having a good memory, and being amazing in bed... so I, umm... wait - what were we talking about?

I hope this profile has been a pleasant surprise. But if you prefer the other kind you may find, try this on for size:

"Yo-yo-yo babe! Hit me up if you dig my Harley, the dead animal I just shot, or my MAD shirtless baf'room photo-takin' skillz!"

Eww, I think I just hurled a little in my mouth after typing that!

Interests:
Camping, Coffee and conversation, Dining out, Fishing/Hunting, Gardening/Landscaping, Hobbies and crafts, Movies/Videos, Museums and art, Music and concerts, Exploring new areas, Nightclubs/Dancing, Playing sports, Shopping/Antiques, Travel/Sightseeing, Wine tasting
Sports & exercise:
Golf, Tennis / Racquet sports, Walking / Hiking, Weights / Machines, VolleyBall
Exercise habits:
I exercise 3-4 times per week
Pets:
I have Cats
Pet Essay:

Dogs have owners, cat's have staff. I am staff to 1 cat, a girl... Know what I've always wondered, though? What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Political views:
Middle of the Road
Sign:
I don't believe in astrology
College:
West Virginia University, Morgantown, WV
For fun:

Brought to you by the "Department of Redundancy Department?"... Kayaking, shag dancing, working out, dining on the shattered dreams of homeless people...yummy! (not really - just seeing if you were paying attention). I almost never watch sports.

Favorite hot spots:

Blowing Rock, NC.. Charleston, SC... I want to try the Greek Islands some day... Anywhere high up... I'm not afraid of heights... I am, however, terrified of WIDTHS.

Favorite things:

Making the best buttermilk pancakes on the planet. No, seriously, they're THAT good...
Public speaking is a favorite too. And I don't even need to imagine my audience in their underwear... Sometimes I do anyway, just cuz it's funny

Last read:

I love Pat Conroy's novels and pancake recipes... I REFUSE to read instruction manuals... Hey - it's a guy thing... what can I do? Totally out of my hands... *shrugs shoulders* And I think that Cliff Snotes guy writes some compelling short fiction!

ABOUT... HIM HIS DATE
APPEARANCE:
Height:
5'11" (180cms)
5'0" (152cms) to 6'2" (187cms)
Body type:
Athletic and toned
Slender, About average, Athletic and toned
Eyes:
Blue
No preference
Hair:
Light brown
No preference
   
LIFESTYLE:
Smoke:
No Way
No Way, Occasionally
Drink:
Social Drinker
Social Drinker, Moderately
Occupation:
Executive / Management
No preference

I oversee a dept. of 17 professionals who all think I practice seagull management, where I fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly away again. So I replaced their Starbucks with Wal Mart brand coffee. Hmmmph!!!

Income:
$100,001 to $150,000
No preference
Relationship:
Divorced
No preference
Have kids:
Yes, they live away from home (3)
No answer
Want kids:
No, but it's OK if my partner has kids
No preference
   
BACKGROUND/VALUES:
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Asian, Latino / Hispanic, Native American, White / Caucasian

British mother, American father. This makes me a bit of an Anglophile. Also, I have 11 brothers: Steve, Rick, Dan, Doug, Phil, Eugene, Craig, Jody, Johnny, Brian, and Ho Cha Chu... One of them is Chinese. I'm pretty sure it's Phil...

Faith:
Agnostic
Agnostic, Atheist, Christian / Catholic, Christian / Protestant, Jewish, Spiritual but not religious

My VMAT2 gene is pretty much nonexistent... I live my life with ethics, values and integrity NOT because I fear eternal damnation, but because I've always believed it would be cool if there was a *little* less douchebaggery in the world!

Languages:
English
English
Education:
Graduate degree
No preference

I completed all the coursework for a Ph.D., but 'life' interrupted the writing of my dissertation. I suppose that means I can claim "Ph.D., ABD." I do have a bachelor's and master's degree. I have been an adjunct professor at a major university.

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