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abe_froman12

I think I just set the all-time Match record for "Most People to View My Profile w/o Sending a Message". Woohoo, $60 well spent!

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Active over 3 weeks ago

39 year old man
Hollywood, California, United States

Seeking:
women 25-55
Within:
30 Miles of Hollywood, California, United States
Relationship:
Never Married
Have kids:
No
Want kids:
Not sure
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Body type:
Athletic and toned
Height:
5'6" (167cms)
Faith:
Spiritual but not religious
Smoke:
No Way
Drink:
Social Drinker

 

ABOUT HIM & WHO HE'S LOOKING FOR

FADE IN:
INT. STARBUCKS - DAY

An ecclectic mix of Hollywood WANNABEES fill the coffee shop. JEFF, 30's with Italian features, sits slumped in his chair staring a blank LAPTOP screen. DR. PHIL (50's), burly and balding, sits down at the table.
DR PHIL
How's it coming?
JEFF
I got nothing. Intros are the
worst.
DR PHIL
It's easy. Tell a little bit about
yourself and what you like to do.
Just be honest.
JEFF
Honest? Are you kidding me? Have
you seen the schmaltz the other
guys are writing. Long walks on the
beach? Looking for a soulmate? Not
once have I ever heard a guy utter that
kind of crap.
DR PHIL
Of course you haven't.
JEFF
Well that doesn't seem too honest.
DR PHIL
Look, Jeff. There are two completely
different kinds of honest.

Jeff crumples his brow, confused by Dr. Phil's fuzzy logic.

DR PHIL
There is "testifying in court"
honest. And then there's "trying
to get a date" honest.
JEFF
I'm not sure I understand.
DR PHIL
Here, I'll show you. Go ahead
and pull your profile back up.

Jeff clicks his laptop back to life.

DR PHIL
Now try entering your height.
JEFF
(aloud, typing)
Five foot, six inches.
DR PHIL
Are you insane?! You may as
well just join the priesthood
right now.
JEFF
But that's my height.
DR PHIL
Not if you plan on dating. You'll be
left off 99% of the search queries.
JEFF
How about 5'11"?
DR PHIL
That's more like it. Now what's
your headline gonna be?
JEFF
I was thinking about, "Looking for
Hot and Slutty-
DR PHIL
No, no, no. That violates the "Two I's"
rule of online dating for men.
Immaturity and instability. Try again.
JEFF
Okay. How about, "Looking For
Someone To Complete Me."
DR PHIL
Now you're getting the hang of it.
JEFF
Now what about putting in some
things like horseback riding and playing in the
rain. You know, stuff that sounds good but we'd probably never ever do.
DR PHIL
It looks like my work is done here.

The two men shake hands.

THE END

(P.S. If you took any of this exchange seriously, we probably wouldn't be a great match)

Interests:
Coffee and conversation, Dining out, Movies/Videos, Museums and art, Music and concerts, Exploring new areas, Nightclubs/Dancing, Performing arts, Playing sports, Travel/Sightseeing, Volunteering
Sports & exercise:
Billiards / Pool, Walking / Hiking, Other types of exercise
Exercise habits:
I exercise 3-4 times per week
Pets:
Political views:
Non-conformist
Sign:
Taurus
College:
I'll tell you later
For fun:

Hiking, writing, reading, satanic worshipping (just seeing if you're paying attention), playing all 3 chords I know on guitar, trying to enjoy surfing despite my debilitating fear of sharks. Anything I haven't done before.

Favorite hot spots:

My hometown of Chicago*, anywhere that I look down and see a snowboard strapped to my feet, Sunset Blvd at sunset

* when the wind chill isn't 20 below

Favorite things:

I have an unhealthy affinity for sour candy- sour patch kids, sour straws, etc. I like swearing at bad LA drivers, shel silverstein poetry (not swearing at it), snowboarding, Hollywood history, The Ramones, and people-watching at midwest State Fairs

Last read:

Edgar Allen Poe (Hop Frog, The Murders of Rue Morgue, Dr. Tarr and Professor Fether among favorites), The God Delusion, The Lorax by Dr Seuss

ABOUT... HIM HIS DATE
APPEARANCE:
Height:
5'6" (167cms)
3'0" (91cms) to 8'11" (271cms)
Body type:
Athletic and toned
Slender, About average, Curvy, Athletic and toned
Eyes:
Brown
No preference
Hair:
Dark brown
No preference
   
LIFESTYLE:
Smoke:
No Way
No preference
Drink:
Social Drinker
Social Drinker, Moderately
Occupation:
Other profession
No preference
Income:
I'll tell you later
No preference
Relationship:
Never Married
No preference
Have kids:
No
Yes, and they sometimes live at home, No, Yes, and they live away from home
Want kids:
Not sure
No preference
   
BACKGROUND/VALUES:
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
No preference

I'm mostly sicilian, which is why I won't be playing center on a basketball team anytime soon. That said, a couple phone calls and I could have the entire team thrown in the Pacific;)

Faith:
Spiritual but not religious
No preference
Languages:
English
No preference
Education:
Bachelors degree
No preference

Bachelors in finance... now I am a bachelor begging financiers for money to make movies. Go figure.

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